Monday, May 31, 2004

extreme liberation, intense agony.

hi blog. i'm back after a gruelling day of exco elections, and also a wonderful dinner with me group and all that.

in a day peppered with moments of intense pain and suffering, came sparks of light, showers of warmth, from the most unlikeliest of sources. i thank all who were there for me.

yes, exco elections was held, and it was nice, considering that the president was who i expected, kenny, and tt was quite gd cos i feel that he's really one with excellent leadership potential and whom the ppl wil really listen to.. i think he's also quite caring for everyone too and will listen to everyone's views.. but the problem with it is tt he has 74 ppl under his charge.. but it puzzles me why onyl 5 ppl were running for the post of president.. could it be.. that they found tt the presidents post didnt inspire them?? or that it was too difficult?? nobody will know.. but at least they got quite a dynamic exco. and that's good. well, they chose who they want to lead them.. and now that they have given their mandate to their leaders, lets hope the leaders justify that mandate in them.. cos as leaders, we always will have to earn the respect of ppl.. cos respect is never given to us.. and as leaders, we LEAD ppl. not LEAD projects and ANSWER to the school admin. and PEOPLE has always been the most important issue in leadership. that's why i slack so much in everything but i do put alot into orientation grp and stuff. yes, that's not exactly fulfilling me duties. but the rest hasn't fulfilled their duties either. who can actually say that they have LED people? yes they answered to what the school admin expects of them, but was it the sch admin who voted them in in the first place? ya. probably. the exco, that is. that's why the present bunch of exco will have to answer to their people, and i hope they do. tho im in no position to say anything. but i do hope the best for them.

just as fitting, today was the end of the council term. cool. what an intense sense of liberation like NEVER EVER before. no more ties, dun need to wear the council badge, no longer shackled to the restraints of the council. and no longer have to listen to others adopting the mightier than thou attitude when dealing with me. yay!! but i do feel some kind of emptiness in me, not from the loss of anything, but from the lack of accomplishment in my term. yes, i did lead a wonderful orientation group, and altho i know self praise is no praise, i know that i did an excellent job as an ogl and did all i can to the best of my abilities. and that is most fulfillfing and satisfying to me. ok but that is over and now i dun talk to my og anymore, but that is my own failing due to certain mistakes which i have made in my life, which has come back to haunt me even after its awful demise. but what else have i done in council? actually, although i can put the blame on myself, i dun think the entire blame should lie with me. who should it lie with then? the commitee? the council? or what? i guess only heaven knows. but i know that at least i have made some form of change, in myself and arnd myself. and i guess that is enough. though i never ever integrated into council, on my own choice, for these ppl are just not my kinda ppl, so i shouldn't force myself to go and be like them or try to integrate into their circle. anyway, they form their own cliques, so tts their business. u know how the hse reps say they're not 36 but one? i fully believe that. but the council? we're ANYTHING but one. haha.... but i hope the new batch of elects will certainly be ONE body acting as ONE. cos i dun like to see others suffer my fate.

anyway, so today, i was rather pissed off and fedup. but tts within my control, but i let matters affect me. and so that was my own immaturity which was at fault. and i am utterly sorry at myself, and to myself. and i will hope that this does not happen ever again.

ok but anyway after the exco meeting at which the j2s were rendered useless, went out for dinner with me grp 8... it was quite nice.. finally interacting and getting thru with the juniors in a relaxed environment.. cool.. i liek.. glad that daniel got the solaris hse capt, cos he's really a very gd leader.. and aencourages his ppl.. he was really a great help thruout the entire elects camp.. ok.. then went to watch shrek 2 later, and it was rather cool..

then i came home. well, if there's anything more to say, i'll say it next time..

anyway, kairu, didnt know tt u read me blog.. but cool.. dun be too affected by the stuff here.. u shouldnt be.. okei..

lyd : of cos its u la me best friend.. haha.. take care of yr viral infection ya.. it needs plenty loads of rest and water.. dun worry.. i will send some TLC yr way.. and i will kill the virus for u if it bullies u somemore.. just tell me!!
kk.. tts all for the time being..
til next time, adios
and good night

many wise men have passed through these gates. but it is only the strong who have brought it down.

mervyn at 5/31/2004 06:02:00 PM

Sunday, May 30, 2004

i've lost nothing

hi, just came back from elects camp. what can i say about it.
honestly, i felt it was a waste of my 2 days. and that was due to the way they ran the camp. i felt that this way of camp does not truly bring out the full potential of the elects. whilst serving the purpose of imparting knowledge to the elects, does it make them REMEMBER what we taught them? no.

the reflections of today sucks. firstly, it was conducted in a way where i felt the stuff that was said was really not reflective of the whole issue. its like the whole issue is tension and conflict but then everyone was giving happy happy reflections. yes, ther is only 16 hours left til it is goodbye to me dearest council president tan pei ling and she is taken over by another president. which means that the 36th sc will cease to exist in 16 hours now. song boh! so then after reflections, there was lotsa hullabaloo and all that emotional hugging and stuff, which i distanced myself from, for i am not of such a nature. we were then made to gather by the rock wall for some council reflections. to round up our term. and boy, was it some kidna reflection, with our dearest president apoloogising not once, but TWICE, for having such a screwed up exco, which led to a screwed up council. but what can sorry do. an apology will never bring someone back to life. an apology cannot make up for lost time. an apology can only appease the feelings of ppl.

and then she said we would feel empty cos we would lose all our council room, studying in the council room, playing carron, weiqi etc etc. but when she said all these, it sounded absolutely foreign to me!! i never did all these stuff before. after saying all that nonsense, she said she'd like to hear me views on the issue and said she reads me blog frequently and said she reads that i don't feel like a councillor etc etc.

but am i the only one who feels that way? i could easily name off the back of me hand many ppl who feel that way. an army of sheep led by a lion would always triumph over an army of lion led by a sheep. but of cos, i dun imply anything by that statement. but look at the state of the council now and i think we can tell.. so cliquish.. and work-like. but the council will cease to exist... soon..

in contrast, the hreps were having a much more intimate, closer reflection setting, with arms arnd each other's shoulder, and at least being in a full, complete circle. ours wasn't even a circle, with some ppl mightier than thou sitting outside the circle on the railings. telling aint it?

thru this camp, i have worked alot with the hreps and i find that the hreps are really much much much nicer ppl than the councillors.. the hreps are more down to earth, save a number of ppl whom i shall not name, more fun, and more united... also, they will still mix amongst houses.. unlike us, who dun really mix across commitees.. so much for ONE council.. haha.. what a joke this whole thing is..

this whole saga has also led me to appreciate it when ppl are nice to me, cos ppl seldom are nice to me. and that i should be thankful to those who are nice to me..

so special thanks goes out to (in alphabetical order)...
ahlam, ek kiat, hasan, hilda, kat, lydia
for helping me out a whole great deal and just for being there. really great ppl they are.. for helping to kaobei together and ride out these fuped times.. cool.... i think tts abt it for now.. dunno wad to say also..

found it so funny when they did the elects idd the council oei cheer.. but nobody replied.. at least on my side.. yes yes, the council lives on in name.. but in spirit?? ha... ha...... ha....... what spirit was there in the first place?

goodnight and sweet drms!!

mervyn at 5/30/2004 04:26:00 PM

Friday, May 28, 2004

send me a feast fit for a king.

hi blog. that's my typical way of starting a blog. look how steeped i am in tradition. ok, so today was quite a short day for me cos i got off at 1320. and went to pass the guy me stikfas and bought the envirob seris 3 and den went home. rested for awhile and then went out wif me mum to have a FEAST FIT FOR A KING. and where else but at the residences of that great mongolian conqueror, GENGHIS KHAN.

omg, the oysters were so big, everything was so nice, and it was certainly a feast. cos today is EAT WITH YOUR FAMILY DAY. oh and joelle also went along but she is a playing king so she just played and played. ok but it's quite nice.. not exactly worth the money, but still, gargantuan portions fit for a king's feast. wow.... wowwwwww......

and the envirobs i bought look so cool. but i dun wanna open them. they cost me $35. tho i earned $25 from the sale of me stikfas. but still, the envirobs are so ex. ok but considering its $7/unit kinda makes it much cheaper. but still, cant bear to open it.. but the box design itself is really nice.

and u know, i duno why, but i kinda did one of the meanest things of the day today. haha.. i was walkiking along the orchard underpass to go to the mrt to go home.. and this girl was standing alongside giving flyers.. so i tot aiya ok one of those normal so i dun care her.. but when she saw me approaching in my njc uniform she looked so excited and rushed towards me and passed me the flyer. den i glanced at it. den i took a bigger look at it.. AND I GAVE THOSE DISMISSIVE LAUGH IN HER FACE.. loudly somemore.. that was so mean!! but it was a reflex action!! haha cant help it.. cos u know why?!?!?1 u know what the bloody flyer was advertising?!?! IT WAS ADVERTISING ECONS A TUITION and guranteeing me that i'll definitely pass!! hahaha.. okok tts really mean of me.. just cant help it.. hahahaa......

tmnr is elects camp, and im the ic of grp 8. ok i seriously hope everything will go well. but the moment i'm awaiting is the extra reflections where we can BITCH THE SKY DOWN muahahaha. also, this is the last camp i have in sch, so hope to make the best out of it. ok that's abt all for now..

see u on sunday night.

goodnight and take care!

mervyn at 5/28/2004 06:02:00 PM

Thursday, May 27, 2004

a cookie-d day

hi blog. today was quite a nice day. although school was kinda sian but the time really kind a flew.. the only time it seemed to be really slow was during econs but then its ok.. i skipped pe, which is a useless period, cos the muscle no brain tong is taking us for this period. if it were sara, i'd definitely go, but since its no-brain tong, i skipped la dun care..

and when i skipped, i went to kat's house to bake cookies for our grp!! it was quite fun, kat's kitchen is like a mini bakery cos it has so many pots and pans.. and her mum is really cool also.. ahhahahaa.. anywya the cookies tt came out were really nice.. but i wont be eating too many.. after seeing the amount of butter and sugar that went in.. ahhhhhhh ahhaah.... hmm it was quite fun actually.. cos me is the naked chef.. next time i can haf me own cooking show.. so fun.. hahaaha.. but i had fun there..

oh and halfway thru, i got a call from melvyck saying there's the comm photo taking. ok for one, nobody informed me.. but nvm.. 2ndly, i dun feel like taking photo wif them anywya.. im not a part of that comm la.. haha.. im not even a part of council!!! I SUCK im the liu lang gou wu jia ke gui one hahahaa.....

after that, me went to cut me hair.. cos me old hair was a little to voluminous and messy.. and then me went home..

actually dun haf much to say today.. very tired.. wanna bathe and go to sleep.. cant stand it.. dun think i wanna do me gp essay.. screw gp!

ok tts all everyone, gdnite and sweet dreams. take care yea.

mervyn at 5/27/2004 03:15:00 PM

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

a moment like this

hi blog. i'm here updating this, whilst watching AMERICAN IDOL finals.

well, today i went to tjc, and boy, was i impressed with what i found there.. its a big school, but that's not the pt! everywhere i walked, it was action packed.. damn cool school actually... and its relaly funky and lots of action man.. and their council is real dynamic too and its really efficient.. their 27 ppl can do what our 40 ppl can do.. and we wanna make it 74 to do what their 34 ppl can do.. song boh... hahaha.. but oh wells, that's life, and that's life when ppl without economic knowledge makes important decisions. thus, they don't know how to allocate resources well. therefore, grave errors such as this happen. and when they happen, the economy will have to put in place some self-checking mechanism to right the wrong, but only when the economy is free of government.. haha..

after that, went back to sch, and went to the pre-u sem briefing, and omg there was so many ppl there!! hopefulyl got some chiobus in me grp.. hahaa.... im such an idiot ain't i.. prior to that, i was eating me lunch, and im sorry hilda u didnt get to eat any.. its ur fault u dun wanna use ron's spoon, cos i got saliva-phobia! ha!!

anyway the day was rather uneventful after i came back frm tj. sometimes i really wonder whether i made the right choice coming to nj. and the conclusion is often no. sigh.. but ppl do make wrong decisions at points of their life. and sometimes u just haf to deal with the consequences of yr own actions. and try to make the best out of it. if imma to draw a list of plus and minuses, there'd definitely be more minuses. so yea. think vj or like tj might have been better. wasted sial.. argh its ok i shud stop ranting over things i have no control over.

many a times ppl think i'm a damn blur cock who just joke arnd the place all day. but i think these ppl really have underestimated me.. little do they know that i am observant.. and observing every little action that they make.. and when they crreep up behind me with their knife whilst i am telling a joke.. i will swing around and bring out my machine gun and GUN THEM DOWN!! muahahahahahahahaa!! actualyl i think im one of the most observant ppl arnd actually.. i can see quirks in ppl's character and can tell what they'd be like.. but ppl just see me as a joke and one day.. i will show them.. who is the joke.. who thinks he is damn smart... muaaaaahahahahahahahaha

ok i seem to be so evil and scheming, but really, i'll only shoot u if u try to shoot me first. but if u r nice to me, i'll be very nice to u too!!! so u know whose shoes u shouldn't step on now.. hahaha.... but i'm no threat la.. im just little innocent me!! hehehe okok gdnite going off now.. byebye
take care everyone yea?
til next time!

mervyn at 5/26/2004 04:10:00 PM

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

you'll never get to heaven if you're scared of getting high

hi blog! today, was a day, where i didnt go to school! it felt soooo good not seeing those dumb ppl tt u usually see in sch. instead, i headed down to CMPB to get me body checked and certified fit for that crucial period of every man's life, NATIONAL SERVICE.

anyway it was basically a routine of sorts, and u just go from station to station to make sure u can carry ur gun, go on road marches, and complete the 2.4 km run without falling flat on the ground for no apparent reason other than exhaustion. and then etc etc etc a few hours passed and the doctor told me i am FIT FOR ALL VOCATIONS. which means i am pes a la. so that means i will go to the RIGOROUS WORLD of NATIONAL SERVICE where BOYS BECOME MEN and MEN BECOME GAY! and then i went for the stupid test to judge ur capabilities which was so stupid cos i didnt see the time.. but nvm.. at least i HELD MY DIGNITY, unlike EK KIAT WHO CHEATED!!

after tt headed down to delta where i watched the hockey girls take down acjc excruciatingly to the point where it came down to penalty flicks.. watched the hockey guys for awhile before deciding that i should really be spending my day outdoors, and so i went to orchard for dinner, with a sickly old woman, who should be dying soon, either by virtue of the flu bug or being killed by her classmates. i hope its a combinatoon of both tho!! haha.. and i also bought a few paintbrushes. and paints.

anyway i was feeling rather disgusted at some ppl today, whom i shall not proceed to mention, for he really is quite well-liked by most. but i know some secrets. some deep dark secret that only i know! ok some other ppl know and that's how i knew right. and i feel that some ppl r really so full of double standards, and also that some people just like to exert authority and place themselves in a superior position when commanding others. leadership is never about putting urself in authority because that amounts to an autocratic tyranny. and nobody will respect such a leader. leadership is abt earning the respect of ppl such that ppl place u in that position in which that will listen to u and respect ur views and trust u to give the accurate view when they r lost or indecisive.. and it is never a superior position. it is always the stupid position where you have to solve everybody's bloody problems. but some ppl. they don't do that. instead, they add to ppl's problems and all that nonsense. so some ppl shud really go and fan xing fan xing and think abt their own deeds.. but i really dun care abt these ppl cos such attitude will get them nowhere..

am looking forward to elects camp, talk to some of me grp ppl today.. quite fun hahaa.. they r ok ppl la.. as in the juniors.. haha... hopefully me grp seniors bring lotsa food then we can have a supper bitching party everynight..... so fun!!!! MUAAAAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA HAAHAHA
and we will bitch the sky down! tho i really shud watch me mouth at time cos i shoot it off too easily. and when i shoot it off, thee is realyl no tomorrow. teehee so i shud just be demure little me. teeheehee..

ok. tts all for the day.. back to me regular tv programming.. gdnite.. and sweet drms yea.. take care all!

mervyn at 5/25/2004 05:18:00 PM

Sunday, May 23, 2004

truth and illusion, george.. you don't know the difference.

hi blog. didnt really feel like blogging today cos i wanna sleep but since me hair is not dry yet and cos i felt that i had some things to say, i decided to come here and put into words my emotions before they evaporate away like the spirits which i have imbibed one too many a time.

well, today i went out with me mum and it was quite fun. spent some money on economics books, but i have decided that it is worth it, cos of the bloody qixiang who thinks he's damn smart trying to charge $200 for econs s tuition. i have decided that it is more worth it to spend $100 on books and read it and process it myself. just as everyone prefers to drink fresh orange and apple juice rather than processed ones. me and me mum went to taka and walked arnd and ok it was quite fun. tho the time passed by v quickly and i was wondering wad happened and why the shops closed so early til me mum reminded me it was 2115hrs. then it dawned on me that i had woken up at 1635 today, which explains everything. or mostly everything.

oh and i also went to the lv shop. and i wanna buy the whole shop. maybe when im a magnate next time, i might. ha but im dreaming. i think the whole lv empire costs billions. since its owned by another empire that owns lotsa other stuff. forgot the name of the empire tho.

anyway ytd, was pre-camp 2. and i left when the saga emerged, for i knew that such bullshit would come out of the whole issue, and i didnt wanna be embroiled in this whole saga. ya, i think im quite selfish to do such a thing. but i am one whom is detached from council, i gues u could say i'm a neutral observer. but i didnt wanna observe this because i know from prior investigations and doing the legwork and groundwork, that they were going to call it student council. or at least some of them. anyway i think i do understand that the hreps would understandably be upset with this whole issue but i guess i'm equally upset with it, tho its not on the same basis. cos i feel that all this crap is just like an oppression of the students. just like the colonialists imposing their ideals upon indochina and the rest. and if u know me, u should know which colonialist i'm referring to. but nobody knows me well, so u all wont know. and this colonialist, tries to be a people person, but is actually just a bloody elitist, who is totally uninterested in the voices of the masses, yet wants to show that alas, the colonialist has the power, and the people can just shut the hell up, and rot in hell if they so wish. ah yes. and the colonialist can select a few people whom the colonialist so deems as the elite few, to promote and rise up the administrative ranks, to be, the one, who will determine the future of the nation. and that sucks.
totally.

well, i am a literature student, and i study books. plays. poems. and i study who's afraid of virginia woolf. it is a telling revelation of character, and also about truth and illusion. everyone of us has been living a neccessary illusion. some of us knowingly, many of us, unknowingly. perhaps this is the true crux of every problem, when the illusion is exposed, and we are forced to face up to reality. sometimes, this reality is but too real. so real that it comes as a shock to us, who have been living in reality all our lives. what is my point of saying this? i can see a parallel of all the things which have been happening arnd me so far to this play.

just like how george decided to kill their "son", the council decided to "acquire" the reps. implications of that statement? there are far too many. but do infer what u can from that. and think on all levels. for i mean exactly that. but it does take one who knows the book to actually interpret that statement for its full value. oh wells.

our lives seem to be made up not by ourselves, or our very being, but by the things which we use to symbolise us. i am fully aware of this fact, and that is why, i am such a loud troublemaker. cos i want to examine this phenomenon. just like when i changed my hairstyle radically. ok i admit it was to irritate the balls out of my bloody teacher. wouldnt call her a teacher actually cos she doesnt deserve that title, but for the lack of a better word, we'll stick to that. but also, it was because i knew people would react to it. and why do people react to it, when i am still essentially, THE SAME MERVYN? its not as if i came back with a new hairstyle and new wiring in my brains did i? well, from the looks of it, it certainly seemed that way. so what if i carry an LV bag? am i not the same person as i was last year? well, yes, nothing is permanent except change itself, but would i have changed in a different way if i were carrying a deuter bag instead?? what's the truth? and what's the illusion? who determines that? nobody but ourselves. i determine the truth, and you determine the illusion. what's the truth which you shall determine about me, will be my illusion and your truth. my truth which i determine about myself shall be your illusion.

ok here's time for another of mervyn's insightful, thought-provoking bathtime thoughts. as usual, i was in the bath yada yada yada yada... and then i though. our school song is "the national dream" and many people prefer it over the college anthem. but then, think. a dream is not reality. and a dream, will remain a dream, for as long as you call it a dream. a dream is only effective, when it becomes a reality. ya i know the last line is that it's fulfilled for all to see. but then, when is it fulfilled? now? today? never?

ok think that's enough for the day,
goodnight everyone, take care, and sweet drms!

mervyn at 5/23/2004 06:50:00 PM

Saturday, May 22, 2004

kumanhaseyo

hi blog. what's up?!? anyway today i woke up at an ungodly hour of 6something just to go to school for the elects pre-camp, which was more like a student lounge chalet, or a bridge club camp. cos most of the time we were playing bridge. ha.

and soccer too.

anyway we tested the night trails and all that. and it was quite interesrting, cos i was blind. and i wouldnt mind being blind actually. but mute, i cant do. hahaa.. anyway the situation was that we had to get arnd sch either being blind or mute or crippled in a grp. and poor me had to carry hilda and hasan, the 2 Hs, which made me a labourer for the day. surprisingly, hasan was lighter than hilda!! hhaaha....

den after tt, we slacked arnd again til it was lunch, and i ate the horrible muslim food and went down to play soccer. and we played and played til it was time for the game trials and we went to play floorball. tho i was sad that my team lost by a terrible scoreline, especially when its a GRUDGE MATCH! ahahha so mean i am.

actually, me grp members arent so bad. when i first saw the list, was like.. oh die.. but actually they r ok.. not as slut/bitchy/screwed up as i thought they were. see. once again, this proves to us that we should not judge ppl before we even know them cos many a times we are so so so so wrong. our preconceived notions tend to cloud our judgement and this has caused us to lose many good relations. and this sucks. on a more sunny note altogether, hopefully we wil have fun during the elects camp.. cos its my last sch camp.. before i go to the real camp.. haha..

anyway, after we were done, went back to the SL where it was bridge all the way again. we are really hardcore bridgers man.. hahaa.. so lame.. argh but then there was some kinda screwup and we were dismised, then not dismissed, but i dismissed myself in the end. well, the hreps werent happy that the council was subjugating them to the rule of the council, and the council, were just taking control of the situation. i dunno what the called the NSLB in the end, but as ahlam puts it, "what merger??!?, its more like an acquisition!" haha i fully agree man... but i think the mastermind of the whole saga.. sucks even more..

i tend to have a reputation for being politically incorrect. but what's the point of being so hypocritical and being all correct and all when in the first place, our true feelings are politically incorrect? politics is a game for the dickheads anyway, and i can see lots of politics being played out. well, wait and see cos when i be a big businessman with lotsa money, we'll see how u politics ppl do.. cos politics sucks up to money anyway.. but money is not everything.. it can't buy happiness, but i dun care. i'll be happy when i crush all these ppl who think they r damn smart at playing politics.

well, its only today that i understood the complextieis of the hreps and council issue, cos ive not been arnd the place at all.. havent even stepped into the council rm since god knows how long. even today, didnt even put my bag in there.. so i dun care la. this whole thing is complicated and the ppl who like to play with power can go and do it by themselves. cos wad goes arnd comes arnd..

on the other hand, there is kinokuniya sales! 20% but ending tmr, will go and check out some economic books. watching winter sonata now.. really nice.. hahah i like .. its so sweet.. but i hate the guy.. jiu chan bu fang... sucks.. just let the girl go with minyoshi la.. sucks man.. okok tts all for the night.
hope tmr will be gd day.. gdnite everyone, and take care!

mervyn at 5/22/2004 06:22:00 PM

Thursday, May 20, 2004

hitched a ride on the king's elephant.

hi blog, today was a nice day. happening, but tiring.

well, the morning started off perfectly fine, rather easily and relak, and all that nonsense.. then econs lect, so obviously, i was picked on by our dearest mrs lim, the wonderful econs lecturer.. luckily.. luckily.. i knew how to answer that stupid easy question she asked.. its like common sense.. in fact, all the forex qstns are insanely common sense.. its like i'm in economics utopia where i can get the answers of the qstns just by looking at it. ok i'm boasting here. but they really are quite easy.

also, econs tutorial was so funny! thanks to ek kiat, the butt of the joke, and mr lee. the head of the joke. hahaha basically it was a shoe saga which derived its humour from the impossibility of the situation, with ek kiats reactions further reinforcing the humour, and the resolution, which was insanely funny.. hahaa.. basically the thing was tt mr lee found tt ek kiat had taken off his shoe, and so he kicked it away to liang fa, who was sitting beside me, and me beside ek kiat. and liang fa suddenly found ek kiat's shoe between his legs, and thought it was me. i was surprised tt EK's shoes actually could end up there cos i was playing no part in the shoe saga. i thought i had accidentally moved it there, but it puzzled me so as to how i did it. so liangs kept ek's shoe somewhere in the table.. haha..
and then glee half way thru the lesson, asked ek kiat where his shoe was. and ek kiat was so shocked at his shoe being lost. i even made the audacious suggesiton saying tt he left it in the canteen. thinking of it, it sounded so silly. ek kiat made it even sillier by responding " i came in with my two shoes!! i'm very sure!!" so i said "how'd u know! u dun even know tt u're missing a shoe!!" hahaa and he was looking high and low for the shoe. eventually, the mastermind lee revealed all, and we lived happily ever after.

ek kiat seems to be the butt of jokes today, when i got him again during hockey with the car intersections. ha. !! ha !

and we went to sppt tennis, but they lost. and james said it was the downfall of nj sports. a bad day for them. which is true. cos hockey also lost. but we had already cocluded that hockey would lose, cos our dearest mightier than thou councillor was playing. yes u guys know who i'm talking about, our blind-deaf councillor. oooh and it was him which conceded the short corner which resulted in the goal!! finally, god did some justice.. haha.. ok tts really mean of me to be hoping our sch loses just for 1 person, but he'll claim the credit of the whole team if they won i bet, so better for them to lose, and he can bear the burden of the loss. tho, knowing him, he'd probably shirk responsibilty.

tmr, hockey girls are playing. but this time, i hope they win. cos i think some of the hokcey girls are really quite cute haha.. but tts besides the pt.
the pt is that
im going off now cos im tired
a fruitful day it was.
funny day too..
good night
and sweet drms.

mervyn at 5/20/2004 05:09:00 PM

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

a wrong prophecy; omega-3 oils.

hi blog, today turned out to be quite a good day actually, contrary to my prophecy of doom the previous entry. well ok it started out with my seeing the william tong guy but im not gonna see him tmr anymore and ever again so he can go sit around and play netball with his dearest softballers, who are in the top 8 of nationals. then again, how many teams are competing?!

then, assembly was in the hall, so that was gd. i suspect whitby was staring at me laughing during assembly cos the funeral march band was playing so slowly just like the way their etude (or ettitude if u wanna be punny and pseudo-funky) tickets are selling. ha. wonder if they'll play any faster tmr or will they still play at ticket pace? haha i am a mean fella. but sue me, cos i have my own personal agenda to accomplish.

then, the most miraculous of miraculous things happened, and what was that to be, none other than ME, YOURS TRULY, MERVYN TAN, PASSING MATH, and by a significant margin too mind you! i got 21/30! now, if that's not short of a miracle, i don't know what is. ha! ok so because of that i slacked away in class doing horny, obscene poses with my stikfas of which details are hidden in the annals of my phone.

the time ticked by so quickly, gp passed as soon as it came. i suspect thats cos we were doing a test, and mervyn's law of testonomy states that time goes faster by a multiple that is proportionally related to the difficulty of the test. therefore, time flew! and before you knew it, WHITBY WAS HERE! With his interesting brand of lessons nonetheless, and then, whoaaaa the day passed just like that.

now now, i had plans to go out, watch a nice movie, go shopping, and go home. but turns out that the college had something else in mind for me. it has sports day plans for me!! tried as i did, i couldnt escape the national junior prison. even the most decrepit of escape routes has a guard at it. ok well, he wasnt really a guard. more of a sweeper who has too much time so they posted him there. so i was forceed to stay in school. so i went to library to do some research into the latest scandal, and ronald was there, who told me i was running forthe council 4X100!! lo and behold, i didnt know! (rhymes) ok then after lotsa clarification he told me it was him who didnt wanna run. so he asked me to run for him. being the ever so nice fella i am, of course i said yes! so i ran for him. but argh we got 4th, when we could have gotten 3rd!! that sucks..

anyway, after library, me went to the amphi for the tlc meeting, and was promptly introduced to the new yr 1 elects. and i replied the journals in super fast speed but really bad handwriting. hope i can do better next time!

anyway then sports day as u know i ran the dumb thing, i ran quite fast in fact, but aiya. sucks. then the 4 X 400m, cos derwin was injured so ok i just ran for him. and lo and behold, we came in 2nd!! and then that was it. but so what if i got the stupid medal. it means nothing to me, cos i dun like the medal. it cannot buy me food, cannot buy me anything, so what do i want with it? but some ppl would kill for a olympic medal or any form of medal. the price ppl would pay for pride and prestige. sigh but i didnt feel happy winning the thing cos i guess its derwin's effort anyway. cos i didnt run in the heats but i auto qualify haha.. so lame..

listening to the ten tenors now. going to sleep soon i guess. so tired i am. yea. i am. tired.

kk gdnite, loooks like thigns have taken a turn for the beter, lets hope this continues. take care Y`All sweet drms yea

mervyn at 5/19/2004 04:35:00 PM

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

a day spent in agony (?)

hi, today, i woke up late. so i didnt go to sch cos i'd be in bigger trouble. sometimes teachers love to give u so much stress that they raise the absentee rate. and when the absentee rate goes up, they stress u even more. what a vicious spiral. see how dumb life is. and tmr im going to tjc, thank god for that. haha. but i think this week has been quite a bad week for me so far.

so i slept at home.. got my needed rest.. but i stll feel sleepy..

ahh.. life really sucks nowadays.. its so dreary everyday and i am wishing that time goes ticktockticktockticktock really fast so that the school hols come soon. but even then, the sch hols would still be jam packed with all those events and all that. but on the upside, at least i dun need to see dorothy chua, and that's the happiest thing. that's mean. but i dun care.

ok my fren just told me the invest is not tmr. ha.. im a joker man..

ah anyway im damn sian these few days.. but managed to get me stikfas.. luckily.. fun.. haha.. ok tts all... gdnite..... byebye..

mervyn at 5/18/2004 05:21:00 PM

Monday, May 17, 2004

had a bad day now

oh damn today was such a bad day i got whacked by 4 different teachers.. and that relaly sucks..

early morning was already caught by william tong.. cos i was lazy and wanted to go to grandstand to sleep.. if only i knew then i'd have gone to the main gate.. and that sucked..
and den came dorothy chua which set the tone for the rest of the day. she's so insanely fake it drives me up the wall that i cant stand her anymore. i mean, if u dun care for ur students, dun even try, cos its blatantly obvious!! and its sickening.. i mean, u can differenitate the ppl who really like to teach, and the people who are in teaching for the money. whilst i can't say that she's in teaching for the money, or tt she doesnt like to teach, it just comes across that she should go find her family or her choir or something lah. its so irritating talking to her i've given up.

so then since i was so sian cos of dc, i missed econs lect, and i am sorry for getting my class into trouble. tt sucks.

aiya but the saving grace was tt aftrr sdh i went out wif me mum to go shopping and eat dinner so tt was fine.

anyway today really kinda sucked and i hope that this day was an error on the part of the day planners who write the horoscope and that the rest of the week will turn out fine. hm. yes, and today, for some weird reason, it seems that all my thoughts have been turning towards a certain someone.
who, is so.. unattainable?
argh.
oh and its not the one. for those who are guessing

wells looks like i'll go get some stiks after sch tmr. OG has a sale. how cool. alright. gdnite and bye
watching shi zi lu kou now. needs to relive stress see.

mervyn at 5/17/2004 05:11:00 PM

Saturday, May 15, 2004

don't know when i'll be back again

oh screw my stuypid dumb browser just hanged and i lost all the bloody stuff i typed here.
im damn pissed off now.

as i was saying etc etc im watching winter sonata now and i absolutely love winter sonata but since im so pissed cos i lost everything ismfsdjfdsnojknmewf
screw it
.

and i was saying that i watched blood brothers ytd. and i learnt some stuff, and i wanna be a gangster like them. and i was saying i miss some stuff but i cant really change anytrhing and that blablablbala etc etc
ARGH THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING
screw it

mervyn at 5/15/2004 05:47:00 PM

Thursday, May 13, 2004

she moves in mysterious ways

sigh. i wont say what has been said many times. but this sucks

anyway went for dinner and not planning to do any work tonight. going to sleep soon.

anyway i dunno why sometimes god has to be so fair.. ppl who are nice.. and gd personality.. have ugly faces.. ppl who are mean.. total bitches.. have pretty faces.. god is so fair to balance out all these qualities.. and this sucks... sian.. aiya i dunno how to describe this anyway.

subject of controversy for the day : me hair. `nuff said. figures.

this is a short entry. cos i needed to say something. somewhere. and so it was here. ok.
good night.
we are all winners.
if not, we shall be one day.
except some of cos.
like perhaps, the thinking player.
he'll never be a winner
at least in my eyes.

right. bye.

mervyn at 5/13/2004 05:27:00 PM

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

life is full of surprises

hi, havent been updating in quite abit. ha now i'm finally here. quite tired now actually. went to do my hair after school today cos was quite bored. little did i know my whims and fancies would take so long and id end up spending such a long time at the hairstylist. but its quite a shocking and new hairstyle, even im a little not used to it. but ha. life is full of surprises,just like me horoscope of the day says. anyway its quite hard to recognise me, i think i look entirely different. lets see in school tmr. haha. i bet ppl will laugh their heads, eyes nose mouth and dicks off lah. haha..

school today was so boring i almost fell asleep. but school is inconsequential anyway. i dunno what i go to sch for anymore. anyway maths seems to be getting easier and easier and econs seems to become easier and easier and literature is getting easier and easier and history is getting easier and easier. why is this so? i dunno. ha. im talking nonsense.

anyway i want the RSN stikfas but i dunno where to get it. anyone who has the navy stikfas can u like leave a tag on me blog.. i'll but it from u!!! okie? but highly doubtful tt ppl still keep it in its unopened condition.

anyway methinks tt some ppl really dunno to do the right things at the right time. if u are so involved in choir, u can jolly well go and be with the choir and stay out of our lives forever. why do u need to come and bother us with ur incessant rumblings and keep wanting to make our lives hard and all? just go and bother your choir since u love them so much and just leave us alone!!!!!! ok thats my rant of the day.

anyway tmr is the day when we decide our fate. and lets leave everything to fate and we shall decide what fate does with us. contradictory? well, think about it. ha. oh wells, no point fretting over it now.

ok i have some philosophy stuff to talk abt but i kinda forgot what it is. mm when i remember i'll post it up. til then, enjoy this boring thing.
ha gdnite mate.
sweet drms and take care yea.

mervyn at 5/12/2004 05:21:00 PM

Monday, May 10, 2004

short of a million dollars

that feeling of seeing the ball put into the net. at the very crucial moment.
that just redeems everything. the whole world that sucks, ceases to exist.
it just happens in that moment. and that moment created history.
AND WE PUT IT PASS THEM ASSES VJC MUAHAAHAHA no goals conceded so far? we'll show you how to concede them.
overall good game, save our error.

actually i dont feel much grief or sadness that imma stepping down from council really. council room? the number of hours i've spent in there can actually be counted on my toes. ha. my locker in the room? filled with useless stuff from someone that i think, has forgotten about the existence of the useless stuff, just like the way she refuses to accept my existence. in denial she is.

just hope that the buncha councillors stepping up actually do something. or try. attempting is good enough. nothing comes close to trying. and when u try hard enough.
sometimes,
things. do go your way.
if only we tried.

ha short entry tonight cos imma really tired. got 2 tests to deal with tmr, and they'll be VJCed by me.
VJC- new speak for bested.
haha. right. goodnight. sweet dreams.

mervyn at 5/10/2004 05:40:00 PM

Sunday, May 09, 2004

rarely art.

hi! so what's new around this place?
today is a sunday, and as all sundays are, i woke up early for breakfast. it was quite nice. then i went back and all that..
then rushed off the clarke quay for awhile.. there were some interesting finds there i must say, but didnt get what i wanted. so that kinda sucked, but got some hidden gems. ha. then went out but the car broke down, and that sucked. but then headed over to my grandparents place, so relaxed there.
then went to centrepoint.
ok overall the day went smoothly, quite a gd day i must say, fruitful, tho spent quite a bit of money.

well as for my comments on the new elects, i certainly hope them buggers will keep their dumb attitude in check and improve it, cos its rather bad i must say, and it aint the way to act, especially after u get voted in. see, the problem of having 74 ppl. kinda stupid. but of cos, i must stick with the official line and say it rocks, and that its for the benefit of the school adn that we can harness the synergy with 74 ppl. and the implications of that line? that we werent able to synergise before that? hmm probably so.

and anyways, we're facing vjc tmr. and i hope rjc thrashes mjc tmr and we can enter the game with a peace of mind. cos if rjc thrashes mjc and we draw with vjc and vjc proceeds to demolish mjc, we'd qualify! even better, if we beat vjc, that'd be great. ok so many ifs this and ifs that. i dunno. hope the sch sppts us tmr, cos vj sppters suck cos they r like the red sea.

ah im really tired. this blog is getting boring. but so is my life. monotonous. ha but i will spice it up. or so i hope. soon enough. ha.
ok gd nite all and take care.. see ya`ll soon.

mervyn at 5/09/2004 05:21:00 PM

Saturday, May 08, 2004

the econs day

hi, today was a day of econs. but it was a tiring day nonetheless. woke up at like what 545 and had to go to sch at like 630.. so tired.. den after conducting the icebreaking games, had to rush to vj for the free trade sympsium, which is like rather interesting, especially the talk frm the private secretary. was rather inspired by their FIREfly@Vjc club i must say, which is sort of an economics society in VJ. and its kinda cool.

then after the talk ended, i hung arnd vj, being an extra boy, a grey boy in the beige school. and then went to play cashflow with bra, wg and siew. bloody hell.. it is a game tt helps u learn quite abit but afdter u get the trick of the game, it turns into all luck. and i helped everyone turn into millionaires overnight.. hahaha.... and evnetually i got screwed cos i had 2 million in cash but i had no investments, which really isnt my fault cos the opportunity didnt present itself. and that sucks!! but in the end, tho i hate to say this, cos it will only make his already large head swell even further, bra the dick won!!! and tt sucks hahaha cos he thinks he is a smart ass when he's actually just an ass boy. lucky dick. oh and something funny happened during the trade talk. i posted a qstn and i wrote my name as dick from RJC, and jack cook, the moderator went something like.. and we have a qstn frm.. how do i say this.. dick from rjc.. hahaa
damn funny. shiiiiiiiiiiok sial

after tt went home and slept at my grammas house... and went out..
watching winter sonata now.. i really like that showl.. im watching it in korean version now.. sounds very nice.. i like.. haha.. its very sweet.. i want the snow.. i want a winter sonata.. haha..

ok today i shall talk about working effectively in an organisation.
in a complex structural organisation, how do you ensure that the maxiumum potential and synergy of the group is harnessed for a greater good?
well, i feel that it is most important to align one's self with the benefit of the whole organisation. that is, to ensure the success of the organisation in attaining its goals. and how do we do that? we first have to get rid of our selfish streak and see the point and marginal benefit to the society as a whole and ultimately us. it is of utmost priority that we let go of our emotional baggage and expectations that we bring with us, and examine how we may benefit the organisation, and ultimately, this translates to a benefit for self, and thus, the organisation prospers and we prosper. yes, it sounds like bull to you, but this is frm experience. and so, listen.
hahaaha..

the stupid nami nami nami ad for the bras of wacoal is so sytupid.. ahahha.... it sucks...

ok i think tts all i have to say for now.. its very touching this winter sonata. ok byebye. talk tmr.

mervyn at 5/08/2004 05:41:00 PM

Friday, May 07, 2004

blame it on my youth.

today is a day, hectic, tiring, and sucky. yea u must have by now noticed i have been describing everyday as hectic.
could it be my lack of vocab? or is it just as such? i think it's a combination of both.

started off on a wrong note, with a bang, and kinda went downhill ever since. even math, where i could do every dumb bloody question, turned out wrong. and if you know me, the day i can answer every dumb bloody question is a real miraculous day. ok but still. i sat right in front of markie during history and promptly dozed off in front of him. cos i really was too sleepy. you cant blame me!
den had to wait an hour for econs s but i decided to go an hour late for s due to the release of the election results. and sadly, some ppl whom i didnt wanan get in got in. and pradeep got so many votes its kinda obscene. now i hope his head doesnt swell and he just gets on with life and all. and don't be a stupid slacker like me in council. yes.

econs s was.. interesting, to say the least. if only every lesson was like that. this is where genuine learning takes place. not based on a curriculum, but structured to the whims and fancies of the human mind, which is infinitely better than any structure. and yes, tmr we have the elects pre camp, which i should be in sch at 6.30 for. and its now 12.30. i figure i have a long day tmr. sucks. cos im going to vj for the econs symposium too. yeah. u get what i mean.

im upset. disappointed. that the gp blog is closed down. thanks to my folly and stupidity in linking it. but i only thought tt information shud be free and since there was something tt interesting happening on it, ppl shud get to know abt it. screw. now theres no interesting forums of discussion. looks like i have to go read those econs blogs. sigh. and its all my my my my my fault. and that sucks.

i guess thats all to say. i dont know.
im seriously at a loss.
not only for words.
for everything.

mervyn at 5/07/2004 04:53:00 PM

Thursday, May 06, 2004

fallen. but we shall stand.

hi. today was a sad day. we lost to mj. and its not cos we were too lousy or anything. it all was just plain lack of teamwork. lack of focus. and plain lack of hunger and urgency. and tt really sucks. luckily ms ho gave a gd blast at the end of it. but when she said tt it was the last time she would lecture us, something kinda sank in me. its as tho u lose something. don't know how to say. but i certainly hope they'd buck up against Vj and win them cos impossible is nothing.

other than that, the sch day was a sleepy and hectic one. and the day just flashed by me. zhirong also came by nj, which was kinda cool. yea ask me for any comments im really in a terrible mood now.

ok if we win the next 2 games, we might be thru, but we could still potentially be out on goal diff. which once again, sucks. unless RJ beats MJ. which i certainly hope so. and we beat vj.

had an econs test today and got 10/15. could have gotten more but was so so so careless. and that sucks. everything seems to suck now does it not? but no it doesnt suck.

and the smartest thing of the day was that i left me books in school, and i mean ALL me books. which was a pretty smart move i must say. ha! oh wells. its kina late. have to be in sch at 7 to try out some icebreaker games for the elects camp. hope the new elects are not like me. or else, that'd be crap. but elects camp is like frm 6.30 on sat to dunno when. and i gotta be at vj at 9. and my dad's coming back to sg tmr. and thank god i postponed my sats, which would have been on sat too. ooooh if only i could clone myself. but then again, who'd want 4 mervyns roaming the earth? nobody. so there.

ok methinks me shud go do something else now.
like what?
dunno.
k gdnite
byebye. sweet drms.

and always remember
a champion is not someone who never loses, but someone who never quits.

mervyn at 5/06/2004 05:00:00 PM

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

yamakasi.

hihi, watching yamakasi. a french film. i kinda like french films. they're witty and all that. though the plot is kinda predictable but oh wells. it still is nice. so nice that i put off fixing my model cars. its about this buncha ppl who like to climb buildings who help a boy with heart disease by stealing frm the filthy rich.

anyway, school today was kinda alright, draggy towards the end thanks to the stupid gm, which i didnt see a point for other than trying to brainwash us. also, a certain red pig was trying to create trouble and sow internal discord. he thinks he's damn smart lah as if the whoel world owes him something. ytd at the befrieners meeting, cos everyone was standing on the road and blocking ONE car, he says "hey can't you see theree's a car?!? ARE YOU ALL BLIND??" and mind you that was early and bright in the morning like what was bugging him? did he leave a dildo shoved up his ass or something? couldnt he have just said eh there's a car watch out or something to that extent??

well i completed the stupid drag racer and got like 5 mclarens ahahah.. other than that, nothing eventful happened out of a wednesday, tho i missed out on going to get my paints. went for a run just now, whcih was cool. saw this buncha china ppl who were huddled arnd the walkway. ok short update, for those spoiling for a little more read, go to the gp blog at d02.blogspot.com. other than that,
i leave you.

goodnight. sweet dreams
and take care.

mervyn at 5/05/2004 03:35:00 PM

Monday, May 03, 2004

the sweetest things

hey blog. what's new man?? anyway woke up reallllly late today for sch and was subsequently late.. anyway im fixing me car up now, still at the engine part.. haha.. but must do it slowly and nicely so it will have a nice product in the end..

anyways sch was a little boring, just a tad monotonous.. and we were let off at 3 today cos i dunno why ms ng says we already done the tutorial. so i went to orchard to get my paints.

anyway i noticed some pretty girl in sch today, and i find her rather enchanting.. but i know that it is impossible to know her.. haha.. so yea.. i always like girls who are impossible hahaha.. watching the shi zi lu kou now.. cool..

anyway today was the leadership talk in the leadership series by mrs cheng. and i found it very engaging. coming frm a sec sch where the p talks like a chinese helicopter, cos he is one. and its a chinese sch anyway, mrs cheng seems to be a relatively good speaker. and she presented on Fish! which i've read before anyway. but watching the video just seems to make the book seem more real, more interesting. i personally subscribe to all of the principles in the book, cos i find it extremely relevant. and even before reading the book that was kinda my personal philosophy.. if only i wrote it down somewhere and published it.. hahaa.. cos i always believed tt when u wake up, there's 2 options available to you.. be happy, be sad. and the choice is quite obvious ain't it.. but of cos tt requires so much so much so much energy to be happy when everyone arnd u is sad.. but this energy is infectious and maybe everyone can be caught by this energy too. just like when you fall, there's 2 options, stand up, or just stay there and cry. once again, the choice is obvious right? haha..

i also believe that you should Be there for ppl.. and i have tried hahaha.. but ppl dun wan me to be there.. hahaha.. cos im extra.. ok tts nonsnese..

imma going to fix my model soon.. anyway today's fruitful lesson was the leadership talk.. which is usually a boring civics.. and i noticed how my class civics always seems to be crap, admin stuff. not much personal, civics stuff.. which is the whole pt of civics actually... and tt kinda sucks... boring.

also, wanna get an airbrush soon. alright.. byebye.. gdnite all, and take care yea.

mervyn at 5/03/2004 05:19:00 PM

Saturday, May 01, 2004

the evolution of a rhapsody

hi blog. anyway today was a rather busy day for me. woke up late, but still went to the SIF place at parkmall to learn abt service learning. hmm it was quite interesting, didnt know tt tt place was so dynamic. looking back, kinda regret tt i didnt go for the YEP thing actually. sucks. my sacrifice in vain. sucks. if only i were more rational at that time. during lunch, i went down to vj, and that was when the fun started

haha at vj i met bra and den zhirong came soon. and we went to wreck havoc in the haunted house.. hahaha its damn funny la cos after we walk in for awhile den the stupid ghosts who were sposed to be scary and scaring us started laughing cos we were trying to be funny hahahaha and then it wasnt scary anymore it became a joker's house hahaha..... but then e 2 girls that went in with us were quite hot and they seemed to be scared or were they just trying to gain an opportunity to get close to me???!?! only heaven knows hahahaaha.... but they really were rather hot. like models. cool. but i think the haunted house ppl know us anyway.. dunno who was calling my name hahaha.... joker

saw the sabo-ing thing, which was rather cool.. luckily i zao or else i will kena by bra fu.. haaahaahaa wasted he never kena but i bet the humji will pay his way out.. sucker.... anyway had to leave soon but it wasnt tt fun actually... but the babes were all over the place.. someone let them loose!! wasted should have gone to vj man!! hahaha....

anyway so tts abt it.. den after i went back to the place. the discussion ended soon after and i went to roam ps wif liangs ahlam jame and yinghao. and then we went to eat and blablabla.... den after tt i went to roam peninsula and bugis by miself and got meself a model kit. that looks rather nice. and i will fix it up soon. muahahaa.... anyway was quite tired by the time i got home but played the game tt everyone's addicted to.. and i got the s class cars and bought myself a evo and quit the game. oh the model kit which i got was a mitsubishi evo 7 WRC. damn funky and cool.. the detailling is damn gd... gonna fix abit soon..... my drm car.. i will get an evo when i grow up... muaahahahahahaa

ok tts abt it.. quite a fruitful day.. quite happy too cos 2 ppl said i look like a korean and 1 said i look like bae yong jun!! hahaha i always knew i was that handsome ok.. hahaha..... okie tts abt it.... nothing much to say actually..... no insightful reflections this time. too late at night.. but it was real pleasant being able to see my sec sch classmates again especially ppl like zhirong, rl and lynnette, who's bitchy as ever.. brian.. doesnt matter cos he's a dickhead so seeing him is like looking thru glass.. hahaha but zhirong has turned gay.. so sad.. and i know he'lll never read this cos he doesnt know how to use a computer... ahahha nvm tts abt all.... will go fix my evo now. gdbye. take care. and gdnight.

mervyn at 5/01/2004 06:52:00 PM