Saturday, July 31, 2004

shower the sky

hi blogl. today was such a extremely tiring and hectic day.
went for the scholar thing.. quite cool... the personality test DISC learnt tt i was rather more influence and dominant rather than steady and conscientious.
but then again i wouldnt wanna be conscientous. cos its basically a better term for mugger.

wah lau eh damn sian. after tt went to watch the ndp wif a gay guy and his friends. quite nice lah..i found the parade damn seh lor when the army march in and all.. and the commando unit with their red berets.. when some years is actually normal army with normal green berets.. so seh man the red berets.. rocks.. what an honour to be in the commandos. but sorry i am a person without honour i wanna go to ocs.. not the commandos.. haha.. but monday going in to the place... 7 hours there.. crazy man.. but its reallyy damn seh.. wah if next time i sign on with the army i will be the parade commander and shout the commands wow so seh.. the fighter planes are also damn seh but the pilot is not seh cos nobody sees them around.. cool lor.. commandos rock.. rapelling from the towers also commando.. parachuting also commando.. march in also commando.. simi daiji all also commando.. and just now i saw one of he commandos talking to the normal green beret men and its really a world of difference la.. think they same rank but the commando talk until so seh as if he instrcuting them like that and he's much more well buiilt than those infantry people.. damn cool lor..
anyway the fireworks at the ndp rocks.. this yr fireworks damn nice..

aiya i damn tired liao.. goodnight..

mervyn at 7/31/2004 06:42:00 PM

Thursday, July 29, 2004

the perpetuating cycle of serfdom.

hi, today is a busy day for me. in school, after school, before school. every thing was busy. before school, i was late. as usual. and usually, people don't give a bloody damn if i'm late or not. why? because i am king. ok i'm not king but basically nobody cares if i'm late. and today i was only late by a few seconds cos as i was running in the command got shouted so i decided not to put maurice greene to shame and didnt make the dash for it. bloody hell. so as i was walking in, how would you have it. dorothy chua, my beloved EX-CT, stopped me and said she noticed i been late for 2 times this week. OH PLEASE it isnt even detrimental to the state of the assembly and its not as if i have to be there for assembly to start or something right? and who is the one who is forever late even when her lecture is first lesson in the morning, keeping a whole lt of close to 60 - 70 students awaiting her arrival. (or rather dreading) and it's a weekly affair, not an isolated event. if she can be late every week, with all the students who she is PAID to teach, although rather weakly, why can't i be late? ok i'm not trying to shirk responsibility for my lack of punctuality here but i've been staying up rather late these few days so i allow myself a little more sleep. and i'm not missing and lessons, and hell yeah, im damn patriotic and absolutely ready to serve the nation without even saying the pledge and national anthem and all that. if only she studied history she'd know all these is for nationalist movements. dumb, rigid, rule-by-rule, inflexible, uninnovative, favouritism, all the words to describe DC.

then the school day passed by so hecticly with so many lessons and not giving me a chance to eat at all cos i had to gao dim the ucas applications. AaaAAaaAH. i wanna be an economist. actually i think i could just take the teaching scholarship also lah. i realised i dont mind being a teacher and sometimes it does give me great joy and pleasure to teach actually. just that the pay is an issue. which really sucks. but i could always dabble in the forex markets and bond markets and equities markets and then when my bond is finished i'll jump over to the corporate world where i'll lead the high life and be on the fast-track of financial markets. oh well, let's just take it step by step. got my prelims timetable today. don't know what kinda grades to predict for myself. lets see..

Econs A..
History A..
Lit B...
GP A2/B3
Econs S D...

wah lau.. how idealistic. DAMN im a complete idealist i should just create my own world.

anyway went to xian liang's wake just now.. it was quite.. a sad experience.. hearing all the testimonials abt him.. and all that.. wonder waht people would say about me if i die. wonder what kind of legacy i will leave behind. wonder if people will at all be sad... wonder wonder wonder.. wonder how i would die.. but then again, we'll never know. but i don't wanna die young. wanna die when i'm 99 yrs and 364 days.

damn the ants are infesting my laptop.

ok that's all for now. gdnight. quite tired.

mervyn at 7/29/2004 05:11:00 PM

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

mix, then worry.

hi blog. its late in the night now and imma watching guess 3!! quite nice cos the girls on the ren bu ke mao xiang is quite pretty... damn sian day though.

school was so boring. as is every tuesday. ms ng and glee didn't come today dereklee took over glee and i almost fell asleep in his lesson as he was going through "the largest collection of wrong answers" its damn sian lah econs lessons.. boring... went to coro for lunch since ms ng wasnt arnd... boring... math sucked, history was cool wif mlo having his funky boredom again hahaha...

today, there is free money... ahhaha.. too bad didnt get more free money.. nevermind.. maybe tomorrow will have free money again. everyday free money is the best . ok im talking cock.

went for a run just now.. almost killed myself i think.. 7 km.. 45 minutes.. quite slow.. but really damn tiring leh.. but hey now i cann do 6 pull ups already yay.. soon it will 7 den 8 den 9 den 10 den 11. ya ya ya. wad crap.

this is so boring. life is so boring nowadays.

i was just thinking. why do people have to invest so much in defence sciences? as in governments. wont this money be better spent elsewhere? if next time i become prime minister i would try to persuade everyone to be te first country without an army. actually its quite dumb right? just put these few millions like to education or research or something lah. actually research is gd, then there wont be any sickness or lack of anything. think abt it, wars are often started cos of sickness or crises at home or lack of something righT? so if u have some psycchologists, some reasearches, some people to create jobs and all.. den no wars wad everyone will be happy.

i'm too idealistic.


mervyn at 7/27/2004 05:36:00 PM

Monday, July 26, 2004


hi blog.. today is a stupid, melodramatic day. so many things happened.

i took a long run and almost killed myself through overexertion. but our human body is much stronger than you ever think it will be. so you won't die from overexertion. but i was significantly tired.

i am sad today.

and i hate those bloody couples who are forever necking at my exercise corner which is a kids playground by day but consists of pull up bars monkey bars parallel bars and a whole range of other bars. it sucks to run into the place and then see them kissing and have them stop and pretend nothing happened when you reach. i want the whole place to myself. cos i'm possessive. and i don't like them to kiss there. because it makes me uncomfortable. but i don't care. and when i go there they stare at me as if they own the place and i'm intruding on their privacy. screw.

iraq beat saudi arabia today. frankly, i don't care. but they should have scored more goals.

bought the whole set of monsters 3 spawn toys. i like. and the fact that they are a set for $60 seems to make it all the more sweeter. i just need a new display case. actually next time when i'm rich i will dedicate a room to my toys and the whole place will be like a toy museum. and it will be so nice. so my first step to getting rich is to get my 4As and den a scholarship. but i wont get rich by getting a scholarship. i will do it on my own merit. i need to bathe someime soon. i guess so.

i saw a cute girl on the bus home today. but it doesnt matter.
nothing matters anyway


mervyn at 7/26/2004 04:48:00 PM

Sunday, July 25, 2004


别怕我爱的太多 爱你我很快乐
你尽管放心接受 这样温柔 和我
我不怕任何结果 珍惜这一刻
就算是有一天你突然 想走
你并不需要担心太多 怕你不够
了解我 只要记住无爱不痴 无爱不狂 就够
爱从来不怕付出太多 也从不保留
为了你我什么都做 看着你是种享受 拥有你更是 感动

放一颗心 留在你的身边 每次离去 陪你入眠
你千万记住有我在耳边 说爱你

别怕我爱的太多 爱你我很快乐
你要乖乖的 等着我回来

mervyn at 7/25/2004 09:06:00 AM

Saturday, July 24, 2004

what's the story morning glory?

yoyoyoyo anyway hi. its like early in the morning at this point of time and i just finished doing part of my math tutorial. was really tired just now so accidentally fell asleep on my bed and woke up like around 11. what the hell...

so today i went to donate blood.. and i think today the nurse got no skill.. cos her anaesthetic needle was quite pain.. and now the place where she put the needle is also quite pain.. ahhh...... but nvm... i must think of all those who are even more in need of the 8% of my body's blood and are in even more pain.... actually donating blood is good deed.. can atone for all your not donating money.. cos it is worth more than money... so... now i have no money.. so i go and donate blood... next time when i have money...... i will still go and donate blood ahhahaha.... and den i asked ahlam and kat to go along too so that they can do charity too.. but there the nurse was talking cock wif me lah so not so bad.. and my blood flowed really fast.. is that a sign of high blood pressure?!!? oh no!! better keep meself healthy.

anyway after tt went to eat and play games, and i emerged as michael schumacher, constantly coming up tops in the daytona race. this is cos i am going to take my driving test soon muahaha.. ok not so soon lah but when i turn 18, which is in a couple of weeks. which is cool!! when i am 18... i can buy beer. i can bet 4d. i can bet soccer. i can go into clubs!!!!!! but hey. isnt' that what i've been doing? ok i can also buy ciggarettes but i dun think i wanna buy them.. so unglam.. and so.. yucks.. the pictures on the boxes really suck.. damn disgusting.. they wanna discourage people from smoking.. den just place those stupid ciggarette boxes inside the cupboard or something lah.. don't have to display it where even non-smokers can see the disgusting pictures right..

got my globalisation book too. anyway iran sucks lah.. caused me to lose money.. dumb ali dhaei. nevermind, i just lost my profits, capital sum is still there. s league is still the best lah i think. ok that's abt it. off to read me globalisation book. bye.

mervyn at 7/24/2004 07:02:00 PM

Friday, July 23, 2004

the equalization of wages.

hi blog. today is a tiring day. went to school for like what. one lesson. whiteby's lesson which was really interesting hahaha.. and then proceeded to go for my pilot test so i can be captain merv flying the fighter plane upside down left right barrel roll and all that nonsense hahaha... but i don't mind if i can be a helicopter pilot and i will make black hawk go up again instead of letting the black hawk go down! its quite interesting i must say, the test. only that quite exhausting. but it was like playing computer games lah damn shiok.. the joystick with the math one is the most screwed up lah ahhaha.. but challenging lah.. rocks.. the footpedal one also damn fun.. hahaha... intense concentration needed lor.. but i thought that the last test was rather lame.. the personality test.. the 2nd test also damn sian.. basically testing ur skills at being a flight planner.. which is so cocked up lah..

rushed back to school for econs s though after my pilot test.. which left me feeling.. RATHER tired. as usual, econs s was really interesting cos today was about labour market and the presentation was on the equalization of wages across the world or something like that. sadly only managed to catch xiaxia's presentation, which she breezed through. quite a nice one there.. but then the whole topic really raised the question to me of whether or not wages could be equalized. so i threw out a tentative suggestion to glee, who found my suggestion rather interesting. well, i shall elaborate on it in the next paragraph. the rest of the lesson, glee was promoting the books which he found good and i guess i will go get them soon. also, he spoke about the labour markets and all that.. and i really found it quite interesting.. ended up dragging the lesson to around 1915.. but it was a good lesson lah...

anyway, i was suggesting that wages were basically just the amount of goods and services which u can get based on your level of productivity. that is to say that the money received in wages are basically sort of limited blank cheques which you can issue to get yr goods and services. so that brings about a hypothetical consumption possibility frontier right, albeit personal. so i could potentially refer to it as personal consumption possibility frontier or PCPF for short. now, just as a country's PPF is determined by its fixed resources, so the PCPF would be determined by this person's productivity. but we all know how productivity tends to be measured by how much value you could add to a certain factor or resource. that is to say, if i were to add $2 to a piece of wood by carving something out of it, (e.g. i buy a piece of wood for $3, carve something and sell it for $5) i am potentially adding to productivity and thus, i add to productive output of the country, hence raising GDP. but then, we all know the differences in standards of living in different countries differ. so productivity tends to differ. but in terms of percentage of value added, we could potentially offer the same level of productivty. cos if i buy a piece of wood for 10 cents and sell it for 20 cents, i am potentially adding 100% of its original value. similarly, if i buy a piece of wood in a more developed country for a dollar and sell it for 2 dollars, i am once again, adding 100% of its original value. thus, though in monetary terms, in the developed country, i have added 10 times more than the former, in terms of percentage wise, productivity is the same. hence, i am putting forth the suggestion that if this percentaged productivity were to account for the productivity when talking of labour, we could potentially have wage equalisation across the board. this is also due to the different prices of good and services (hence termed standards or cost of living) in different countries. thus, the PCPF would always be the same, cos its just a combination of goods and services whcih one can obtain with their salary across the market. but the REAL CONSTITUENTS of the pcpf would differ. I am referring to the money which one gets. one could get different wages from a person in another country yet possess the same PCPF. thus, if wages were adjusted to real terms, by factoring in the marginal utility gotten, and different forms of productivity and value-addedness (contribution to the ecoonomy), whilst at the same time considering costs of factors, goods and services in countries, one could potentially lead to an equalisation of REAL WAGES. which is very possible.

the above is a crude version of what my idea entails. haha glee says this is the first constructive step to the mervyn theory. actually i think if you want to form economic theories, the best theories to form are about labour, wages, governments, fiscal and monetary policies cos these are mostly what people bother themselves about. who ever bothers about how resources are allocated or how different resources should be allocated other than economists and who even bothers about MC= MR and profit maximisation and perfect economies other than all them academics? yeah.

anyway i have thought about it and i think ii am going to study hard. really hard. then i can get 4As den i can apply for safos. if i get safos i think i wanna be a commandos officer. its damn cool and challenging. but if i could get safos i might as well go for oms. but dunno. i dun think im prepared to submit to regimental life.

also, gd luck today, young lions won the balestier khalsa 6-0. so i won money. shiok. ok tmr got lit lecture. and then im going to donate blood. so see you all. gdnite and bye bye. hahaha.

mervyn at 7/23/2004 04:23:00 PM

Thursday, July 22, 2004

yeah. the heart's still intact. and pumping too!

hi blog. today is quite a sian day actually. cos of three econs. but something that is damn happening happen in econs today. that rocks. u know what happened?? glee brought in so many econs s books for the common perusal of the class. damn nice to read. i think i might be getting some of them books for myself in fact. but the problem is cashflow. damn... must wait til the next kinokuniya sale and i'll sweep them all off the shelves. alternatively, someone could give me some money, perhaps in the form of an edb book prize?? i'll literally use it on books lah ahhaha... if i get $1200... i will spend $500 on econs books, $200 on history books, and i'll use the rest for savings/investments. but i'm purely dreaming. actually i'm quite confident that mine could at least win the $100 thing? if they like my style that is. but mine is rather non textbook style and quite unorthodox. so we wouldn't know. but i know who to thank when i get the prize though.

let me bitch about my teachers for once on this blog. in a frank, honest manner. well, all along, i've hated ms chua, and i beleive the feeling is mutual. i think ever since i skipped her stupid boring m4m tutorial for ONCE she has hated me ever since. i probably exposed her to the harsh reality of learning that many people actually want to skip her lessons and never ever bother about her. she lives such a deluded life that she thinks it is unacceptable for ppl to skip lessons but ok for ppl to sleep in class. (oh dun worry ek kiat not u, in general ahhaha) she probably thinks these people are listening attentively or something. either that, or she's a strong proponent of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. she sucks either way. ever since that i think she has overlooked my strong potential and intelligence and has basically brushed me aside into the bin like one of the lousier weaker students. well, i don't bother about her now and has proven to her that basically, she sucks cos i can still get reasonable marks for my hard times common test essay without even attending a single of her lecture. although that's not the attitude to adopt. bet she was hoping that i failed though. bloody hell. on the other end of the spectrum however, are mr gilbert lee and ms ng. ms ng was my ct in e first 3 months and i think she had quite a gd impression of me. gd enough to give me an advanced placement into the supposedly "scholar class" anyway. well, basically she has been quite supportive of me and has given quite gd yet critical constructive advice. mr lee is also another nice guy. i thought he's an attitude kid last yr but this yr when he became my econs tutor and s paper tutor think i found he's quite a cool guy and actually is a teacher tt manages or rather makes the effort to connect with his students. think he makes econs really interesting for ppl and find it quite sad tt ppl still sleep in his class and lectures. but mr lee is a guy who has given me great confidence to accomplish my goals by believing. he believes in his students and their ability. and that's a mark of a great teacher. mr lee has also provided wonderful commentaries and insights into the problems and inquiries of economics and he's been quite a guiding mentor alongside mrs poon to guide me through my journey of discovery with economics. how i became so interested in economics is another matter altogether.
anyway to cut the long story short, the differences in e teachers can be seen in the ccas they manage. choir went to germany and came back. (ambitious yet ... u know) sorry choir not criticising u all just criticising the teacher i know u guys rock though but then oh well. the air guns team went to safra and came back with all that trophies and medals and even left some records there. now we know.

now that was a long bitching passage. back to regular programming. anyway i was listening to the econs lecture of today on the bus courtesy of my beloved italk and ipod and i found tt some of the stuff that is taught is really quite interesting, especially the way mrs poon phrases it. clara's and bingwen's onside commentary didn't really help though. it almost made me burst out loud laughing when halfway thru mrs poon's monotonous voice u hear this girly clara voice saying "mervyn, you suck." well, i know i suck, but the thought of hearing it whilst mrs poon is lecturing is funny. ok you all don't find it funny? i have a weird sense of humour then.

anyway i played soccer today, the first time in many many months i think. quite fun actually. skipped pe and went with me gd frens inspector lam and recruit goh to pizza hut in BTP to eat pizza and talk cock. it is damn cool. reminds me of my first 3 months.. hahaha.. but then the dumb james.. want to play but dun dare to deal with the forfeits.. lousy.. ahhahaha.. cheaterbug..

anyway when i came home i wrote one econs essay to satisfy mr lee tho dun think he'll read it but i did it quite lousily cos i was quite sian of that topic actually like v boring and dry so didnt write much. went running today and i think today my schedule was a little crazy and hectic and tiring. ran like 5km den after tt stretched and went to do pull ups den hung on the pull up bar for 30 seconds den after that did 30 knees to chest.. ya u think its v slack and easy.. wait til u try it.. without more than 2 mins of rest between each.. hahaha..

ok i think this is getting a little long, wanna go read up some stuff for s paper tmr. byebye. got the pilot test tmr so wont be in school. i am a pilot merv. if cannot be pilot at most sign on with the navy and be a pirate. if really cannot then bo bian i will escape singapore go to malaysia and be a vcd pirate. if really cannot bo bian escape to malacca and be a pirate again. if really cannot bo bian go and die and reincarnate and come back as a parrot. if still cannot then i think i can just go and be a............................ carrot la.

ok gndnite everyone and sweet drms to all my dearest friends, especially to AirBee, because she say i am her friend... yay~~~ haahha...

mervyn at 7/22/2004 05:27:00 PM

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

the pink berets.

hi blog. whats new around here? anyway its 12am now and imma gonna to the bed sooon. just watched this filmart korean show which was quite cool haha... i think all these filmart shows rocks.. damn nice to see man..

anyway today was rather boring in school, except whitby's lesson. which really rocks. haha the passage was damn nice lah and turns out that the scene that i pointed out was really what it was hahah damn cool.. laughing my head off when i heard that.. wasted never record down.. oh wells. but after school there were some cool career talks and i attended the one by the mindef. mindef is kinda cool actually. i wouldnt mind getting a scholarship from them actually. hopefully i can get like 4As and distinction for econs and then i can go apply for the SAFOS. but then abit no life leh sign on in army. like quite sian like that.. loss of freedom.. no social life.. so boring.. but i wouldnt mind being a pilot though hahah.. or maybe go to commandos and be a officer. then that's dman cool. but the pay is low though. so that sucks. aiyah just find a rich girl with a rich dad who's an only kid and she'll get a good inheritance and i can marry her hahahaha.. but then again.. do i think i am jerry yen so handsome any girl will like me?? no! so im just talking cock. aiyah just let everything run its natural course lah, what will be, will be. but i think i wanna be a practising economist or some economic consultant or something. its damn cool to be an economic consultant lah loooking at economic problems all day and recommending solutions. which is basically getting paid for talking cock.

anyway i am damn tired. i want to sleep. update more tmr. and i need to sleep. bbeyybye

mervyn at 7/21/2004 05:01:00 PM

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

sincerity deprivation; apathy apparent.

hi. what's been new around here? anyway i have arrived home, or rather, was home much much earlier, but i was busy suring all other kinda websites and stuff.. its amazing how fast one can actually reach home on a weekday afternoon actually. on such a humid, hot, hellburner afternoon like this, the best place to be is actually. home. locked in the cool creature comforts of the room, with all your windows and curtains closed, with the aircon blazing its icy breath into the room, driving away the warm heat of the sun. discounting that, today is not such a bad day actually. the clouds were quite nice on my way home. when i looked in the sky, the sky was amazingly blue, the air was refreshingly clear and the clouds seemed to have been placed in the sky by some hypochodriac or some mad scientist who was busy obsessing over the placement, size and textures of the clouds. and the scene was just picturesque, beautiful. brilliantly crisp. like a plasma tv coupled with lcd display kinda thing. ok i know there isnt such a technology but im amazingly good at talking crap so that discounts everything. well, but then again, we're not living in heaven and with the nice sky came the unobstructed view of the sun and so the people who bothered looking at the sky were either dying and burning up or they were squinting their eyes till all they could see were their eyelashes or they were just plain mad.

i was none of the above. cos i was in a cab. a cab. just like xu en. the cabtaker. looks like i'll not be going to sleep. i don't know why. just dun feel like sleeping. but sometimes sleep is good. but im basically talking bullshit. anyway the day in school today was kinda mundane. i did my math tutorial so ms chua could have no chance to kb me. cos if she did... well, i'd slam her on the table. and you know the rest. if you don't. too bad. i think my star boxers are really nice. but i think i wan to watch the vcds. im speaking really disjointedly. but i don't care.

oh and glee asks me to type out my essay for the general purview of the whole econs cohort in nj. which kinda explains everything. ok it doesnt. but sometimes i think it sucks to let the whole world look at yr essay. cos there r certain ppl whom i dun wan my essay to be in the hands of. ppl like. u know who. u know who. u know who. u know who. and you know who. but then again, can't really argue against mrs poon righT? but i have a good mind to headline my essay with the title "mervyn's essay under exam conditions on the effects of balance of payment etc. etc" hahaha.. that'd be a scream. perhaps i should try it.

ok i guess that's all for now. til next time. bye.

mervyn at 7/20/2004 10:01:00 AM

Sunday, July 18, 2004

i am the stuff that urban legends are made of.

hi blog. today is a cool sunday. why is it cool? cos i woke up and then bummed around. yeah you say but isnt that what happens all the time? yes, that's what happens all the time, but today, i made the conscious decision to say it's cool and that's why its cool. and if you ain't happy with that punk, you can take your unhappiness and SHOVE IT!

anyway after bumming around for awhile, i went out to buy my apple italk! and iskin. and some cds. and lo and behold, i got a pink iskin hahhaa and as abby would say... gayass. but who cares, it looks nice! and they're out of the glow ones anyway, which i swear, i'm gonna get one of these days cos they look oh too damn awesome. but i wont be going any place dark to make it glow anyway. which kinda sucks. hahaaha. i could make it glow in the cool awesome confines of my room, but then again, that's so damn boring and that sucks anyway. but the italk is quite cool. rocks. now i can sleep in lectures and record everything down and then like listen to it on the way home or something like that. and i can fast forward the boring bits too! wow aint that awesome!??! but then again, i don't really have a habit of falling asleep during lectures. don't know why, i just can't. but i get rather restless though. listening to elvis now. and now i understand why so many ppl like elvis. he is really the king man.

i like. rock and roll. haha. well, tell me this is not a recent discovery but then i suddenly discovered that there are some singaporean girls who are quite chio. like i was walking along the street then suddenly... bang i saw this damn chio girl. ok actually some people would say i have funny taste. but i don't care. i have good taste. like a connoseiur of fine wine. hard to appreciate to the common palate.

anyway, today, i finally broke my hiatus, which i put myself under due to the stress fracture in my shin and my flu... i went running. though not too fast cos i havent exactly recovered. i must gradually build up my fitness and keep up my fitness to keep myself in tip-top condition for the commandos. and the air force. yah right i will reject the commandos. but i don't mind joining the air force though. must get acquainted with them joysticks and soon i will join the airforce and then i will ORD and join SIA and join the mile high club. how fun is that. and in the midst of doing all this i could still go and study econs. like how cool lah. but frankly im damn shocked that the commandos send the letter to me.. but the fact of the matter is that i still don't wan to be a commando. though the thought of spending a month in the jungle on your own is quite cool.. cool enough to drive a sane man insane... but then my life is important. better to keep my brains in my head then to have them blasted out the other side of my helmet.

ok guess this is a short update of the day. seems like i have been windstruck by windstruck. as i think about the story.. makes me feel more and more. YOU KNOW. ok bye. good nnight. its late and i just finished my math tutorial.

mervyn at 7/18/2004 06:18:00 PM

a sweet photo from windstruck

mervyn at 7/18/2004 10:28:00 AM

Saturday, July 17, 2004

where broken hearted lovers do cry away their gloom

hi blog. i need to find a remote control for me tv soon. im currently watching winter sonata now. which is probably like the 3rd time im watching it. but then i cant turn it to korean version without my remote control. so i'm listening to the dubbed chinese version, which i don't like. sucks. damn desperation really drives a person. do u know that i've been missing the remote control for almost 2 weeks now and because of this winter sonata which i got so irrtated after awhile watching in chinese, i dug high and low and LOW and behold i found it under my bed. which i'm damn sure i searched before so i didnt bother looking under it but oh wells.

now im watching it in korean. and i'm happy. just had a little gin tonic so i'm a little high at this point of time, but if xiaomin has her way, i'd be sober. anyway went out today with fuq, kat, and ahlam, to watch windstruck. aka Nae Yojachingu-rul Sogaehapnida. or yeo chin so. it was quite a nice show in the first half, when everything was romantic and all. but then again, i don't like romance. but cool the girl saved him and all. what a lovely. absolutely heartwarming. touching story. but then the guy died. and it became more touching. i was kinda moved when after thge guy died the girl had to deal with it by herself and she like wanted to die and started talking to the guy who wasnt there.. but then again, all these stupid sappy films, i should just leave it for them lover-types. none for me haha.. but sucks lah.. a little draggy at the end. they should have just made it a sad love story and let the fella die and end it off and not turn it into a 2 hour melodrama. but then again, the koreans are known for their melodrama. i will go to korea soon and find a nice korean girl.. and ditch all them lousy singaporean girls.

i tell u ah nowadays singaporean girls are becooming more and more blind. u know. i was on the bus earlier on, and then i saw this dman ugly MAT holding a floorball stick, WITH this damn pretty CHINESE girl.. like what is the world coming to lah.. either its a global collarboration by the spectacle lens makers to make girls increasingly short sighted or truly, girl's tastes are becoming worse. which explains why im single hahaha.. trust me on this man they really are having damn bad taste lah.. hahaha so maybe ahlam.. got hope since girls have bad taste.. haahahaha... just kidding....

anyway it was quite nice, and i got to eat mochi! i am a mochi boy. but ah i am so dead. ok nvm. i think i like elvis songs. they're really nice. rrock and roll.

u know everytime i watch these kinda sappy lovey-dovey korean melodrams it always invokes a certain kinda response in me? ah this sucks anyway. oh but then i got a letter in the mail today and it was from MINISTRY OF DEFENCE for MR TAN CHUAN MING, MERVYN. wow, like so important sounding MR. and they asked me to report on 2/8 at HENDON CAMP for a VOCATIONAL ASSIGNMENT. wow all this big words. and well, for the relatively well-informed, you'd know that hendon camp is the commando base. sucks. and i'm sposed to be dressed in PT kit and bring writing materials and a towel there. god knows if they'd adminster some kinda PT test on me ask me to run up and down or something or worse still dip my head in water. anyway i dunno what the hell is going on lah. sucks lah. dont wanna be a commando. i just wanna go tto ocs and slack around the place and blow aircon everyday and scream at the recruits heads til they pop up. not be a s tupid lousy corporal wearing a red beret hiding in the forests everyday and eating roasted iguna meat. yeah they do eat iguana meat. i been to the commando camp once before and they have a few iguanas there and they say they kill them when teaching the commandos about jungle survival. apparently the iguanas vomit all the food when u catch them to disgust u so u'd let them go. but ppl say it tastes like chicken. oh all these non-connoseuirs of fine food. everything to them tastes like chicken. even chicken tastes like chicken. but anyway the bottom line is i must report there. sucks. ok but if i do have the misfortune of going to commando, i think... everybody can have a farewell party for me.. cos i wont come back ever again. i'll just die there or something lah..

ok this is about all. im kinda high and drunk i wanna go lie down or something. k bye. oh yah, and anyone wants to go donate blood with me? the last time i donated was quite long and i just passed the 3 month mark on july 17th so i can donate again. so anyone wants to go?! just think of the lives u'll be saving!!! donating blood is a damn good activity lah.. so dun hestitate yeah!! its a damn meaningful and fruitful activity and u'll feel good after doing it. ok bye.

mervyn at 7/17/2004 07:11:00 PM

Friday, July 16, 2004

are you alright?

hi. today is a friday. which is. the last day. of the week. and what,
may i ask, is up, on the last day of the week? today, there was a
multitude of lessons. thrown at us like a whiz bang poof. and we just
had to grab it and go along. then there was econs S. which always is
interesting. but i think those presenters should bother to make our
lives interesting. like so screwed up if they make the whole thing
boring. why do they wanna make it boring? don't they feel happy if
people gain something from their presentations?! argh... but anyways
econs s is still quite interesting cos its the only lesson which
stimulates ur brain activity. other than dio's lessons anyway.

a little bit of a non-event we have today. so after econs was going to
go homee and slakc and watch tv and sleep. then ahlam stopped me so i
stayed in school for quite awhile, trying to help ahlam to resolve his
multi-faceted, dimensional, dynamic problem. but this problem.. is one
that only ahlam.. himself can solve. it takes a man, like him, to
solve, his own problem. because, only him and him alone, can do it..
others cannot do it for him.. so ah lam.. pls be a man.. and solve ur
problem like a man.. okie?? dun worrie, i will morally support u.

anyway, i was in the bath just now, and i was thinking, when we use a
staircase to go higher and higher, do we even bother about the
staircase after we are done with it? we say, screw the stairs, we've
got escalators and lifts now. so we never ever bother about the stairs
from now on. one day, when the bloody escalators and lifts break down,
we'll realise the importance of them stairs. some people even use the
stairs to keep fit. the stairs are idiot proof. the stairs are
virtually anything-proof. but some people are just liek that. they
think something new is good technology. so they adopt it. but screw it
they know nothing about the stairs. and one day, when they want to use
the stairs.. they'll realise. that they have left the keys for the
stairs.. somewhere.. and thrown it away. screw it!

anyway my history got quite bad, cos mr lee says so. that sucks. like
what the pussy lah he came into econs S and then proclaimed "YOUR
HISTORY SUCKS" ok but doesnt matter. setbacks are nothing to me. just
like my math. i am a big spring and i will rebound back muahhaha.. ook
this is my aim for prelims. i will get TOP student for Econs, and top
student for math. yeah i know the math thing sounds so impossible but
its to motivate me and you'll never know cos math is a practise
subject, so if i work hard enough, you'll never know. i know u can
calculate expectations in maths, but expect the unexpected with mervyn
muahaha.. and im hoping my hist could do welll enough. and lit.. well
that's a problem which i should have to resolve.

that's about it. it's the weekend!!chill out time.. think going to
watch windstruck tmr. stupid show.. for wussies. cos its a stupid love
story and we all know love and all that krap is for the wussies. and
the pussies. and the dumb guys and the dumb girls. bbut i'll watch it
anyway cos i wanna listen to ppl speaking korean muahahaha. ok
whatever. ok goodbye everyone. tak ecare y`alll.... and congrats
xiaomin on getting a C on econs... must get A next time okie.. :)

mervyn at 7/16/2004 05:52:00 PM

are you alright?

mervyn at 7/16/2004 05:39:00 PM

Thursday, July 15, 2004

don't wear my blue suede shoes

hi blog, what's been new. anyway today, i went to sakae sushi with ahlam and james and kat and we ate til our guts burst. not bad lah we talked abit lah or as kat would have it, we were bitching. hahahaha... but james rocks man.. he is the KOW. KING OF WASABI.. hahhaha.. he eat so much.. shiok man.. james rocks!!! james is the ultimate brave soul.. but kat don't dare to eat anything.. especially vegetables..

after that actually wanted to watch windstruck but it kinda stopped showing so that sucks so we didnt watch it. probably perhaps cos i'm not sassy enough or not ye man ennough. should just march up to the cinema window and DEMAND that they screen it for me hahhaahaha.. but anyway we sat around talking cock.. hahaha...

today got back my econs.. rocks man... my essay rocks man.. what the hell it really is quite high la 36 but then again in one of my wildest dreams i was actually hoping for 40.. sucks.. then i thought abt how hard that was which was 20 per essay and i thought it impossible. but then today i got back and i got 19 for one essay so its not that impossible. ok i will aim for 40 for august. mock exam. but then screw man. i dun think i should aim lah. just try to do my best lah. pressure myself to reach a mark sial.. just do what i can do.. and hope and pray for the best.. hopefully my mcq don't screw up next time..

but right now at this point of time really in a dillema.. don't know where to apply to.. should i go for law or econs?? and even so, where should i do it?? LSE? cambridge? UCL? US? nah but dun think i want US lah. i'm a colonial boy. and i exhort the colonial times. hahaha.. but what do i really wanna be in the future? economist? lawyer? lawyer cum economist? corporate lawyer that is. but then again, if i really do be a lawyer my life is quite boring.. like everyday draft contracts and all. but lucrative. on the other hand, if i do econs, life for me will be quite interesting, thinking about econs all day and about what diff policies to undertake to solve certain problems or to maximise firm's profit and all. but unsure about pay. somehow my heart tells me econs and my head tells me law. yea ppl always say follow ur heart, but i did enter jc with the goal to be a lawyer, so why am i veering off now. ok this really sucks. why can't lse just offer a bloody double degree for law and econs and i'll do it immediately already lah. ah..... actually dun mind doing cambridge law den econs but then again its so hard to get into.. but cambridge econs boasts names like david marshall and john meynard keynes..... ahhhhhh but then again, nj also boasts names like lee hsien loong, vivian balakrishnan but i dun see myself or anyone near my being one in the near future. so how now, brown cow? if only there was some divine authority to advise me. but kelvin sim is a dick. so i shall not bother him, and neither shall he bother me.

aiya. sian. anyway i think its time to kick off working hard for now. okie. tts about it. anyway i still think my econs essay is really damn say.. i like reading it... its a joy to read man.. hahaha ok this is too haolian.. but nvm.. nothing much else to boast about anyway. just u wait and see when mervynism comes out hahaha..

that's about all for the time being, nothing constructive to say also. so i shall save my words, and hold my horses. ok goodbye all. take care.

mervyn at 7/15/2004 04:13:00 PM

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

a mind play

hi blog, after much praying for my plane to crash, against all your wishes, i am back from korea! muahahaha... too bad i was there for a rather short time and the weather there wasnt that good also.. quite tiring actually.. hhahaha so taking planes is not as fun as it seems sometimes.. the weather in korea was droopy and it kept raining cats and dogs and the whole place was so foggy. prob something to do with the air quaility there too since its an industrial place.

the shopping wasnt too good though although the clothes were quite nice. not many consumer goods either. probably because of its dominance on a few major firms such as samsung and LG. got some of the foodstuff from there though. korean food is quite nice.. esp. the fermented drinks they have there like the plum drink and the fermented rice drink. they probably have more like some cinnamon drink which is too sweet for my liking and all that but basically korean food is nice. i like the beef. its damn nice. and all the nice fresh green vegetables. and the power-packed kimchi and the garlic which is so full of anti-oxidants keeps my skin all young and radiant. now i'm absolutely glowing. yes. maybe its something to do with the korean air hahaha but its probably polluted anyway.

anyway the plane was so tiring and dry and all. but the view was very nice though. everytime the plane passed by the cities when i looked down it all looked like a little toy model or something like that with them intricate networks and the lights and all that. passed by taipei. taipei looks quite cool from the top actually. all the other cities i didnt really bother checking cos i didnt know that i could check the flight path until much later. and in the middle of the sea, like those really pacific ocean kinda thing with no land in sight.. they actually have cool little bouys which light up at night and they're really damn nice from the air. makes me feel like being a pilot hahaha.. and the staRS r also damn nice when you fly over the ocean. why is it that them stars all move to the ocean and the view is so nice where nobody can see them? up in the air the stars seem to look so bright and big and even the smallest ones show themselves lah. probably the stars are all depressed that they're being sensationalised by all them lovers down on earth so they just migrate to some place where they can chill out and not be pointed at by all them sentimental lover souls or something. you see, all this nonsense love thing is spoiling the whole environemnt and destroying our brilliant scenery. i mean how many times have you walked by a wonderful setting with brilliant flowers and nice greeneery only to see a couple making out in the bushes or something like that?

ah anyway school today was kinda tiring and sleepy. came home and slept. but still i feel tired now. but ok cool music soothes beasts. and i can't sleep so early. cos i want to watch guess 3. it sucks being sick. my throat is constantly in revolt against me. argh.. i drink lotsa water what not as if i don't drink water... why don't my throat get well faster... or basically i should get well faster. the whole fundamental part of my constitution.

oh anyway, i managed an AO pass for econs already. but i haven't gotten my essay back. hahaha. which probably means i could get a better mark than most people with just mcq and drq hahaha.... ok that's so haolian but nvm. one should exploit bragging rights cos they're far and few to come by in this time and age. but stupid ms chua was so pms-ey and angsty all i did was merely remark that she's so angsty today and all that and i got called out after lesson. me, being me, cos i was so pissed off that she's taking her anger out on us, became sarcastic to her and apologised furiously, which of course she couldn't fault even if she sensed the impending sarcasm. ok doesnt matter.

ahh this is about all. my throat sucks. my shoulder hurts. i'm dying. save me. haha but i bet u all are damn happy so ok nvm.
ok byebbye. tmr's a wednesday, and my horoscope for tmr's quite cool. let's hope its true. its midweek. halfway there hahaha.

mervyn at 7/13/2004 03:42:00 PM

Saturday, July 10, 2004

at the airport

hi everyone. im updating this at the airport muahaha for those who don't believe.. then just too bad.. hahaa. dun worry.. i wil be safe muahahaa ok.

see you all soon. bye

mervyn at 7/10/2004 03:55:00 PM

Friday, July 09, 2004

the utterly conniving nature of nature.

hi blog. i am in school now, stoning away waiting for my next lesson to come. whilst i know that this may not neccessarily be the best way to while away my time, it is the only way which i am satisfied with. having said so, i will proceed to waste more of my time.

anyway, the effects of the medicine was taking its toll on me for the whole of the day. so i am sleepy. this is a boring day actually. i have a good mind to go over to the computer to my diagonal left and slap that girl that keeps looking at me as though im disrupting the peace when she herself is palying some stupid crap game with her lesbian partner. she thinks her pink bottle is really cool? looks like some oversized dildo which probably wouldn't fit her anyway, cos she's loose. ok but i must admit that i am indeed disturbing the peace. but not very much anyway and not as if nobody else is doing that, and not as if there's any peace to disturb in the first place.

anyway i could have just taken one of them blue things and gone on my way home, but since there's econs S later, which brightens up everyone's days especially on a uneventful friday, i will stay. now that rhymes. figures i might go over to bukit timah plaza to pick up my quentin tarantino figure which has been waiting my collection for a long long long time.

anyway, as you can see, you probably have accessed the new and improved passworded blog of mine. and i thank you for acknowledging one of the greatest facts of all time - that i really do indeed rock. since that's the case, i will oblige myself to provide free education for the benefit of the majority, and today i shall be enlightning all of you on why singapore pools serves to be a voluntary tax upon the people. yes, in case you're wondering. this is the roots of which mervynism starts, that is the theory which mr gilbert lee was talking about in the lt yesterday. however, this is one small section of the whole mervynism theory. so listen up folks.

firstly, singapore pools collect money from the majority of us, either through 4d, toto, score or strike. now, as we should know, singapore pools is a government-linked organisation and it propounds to be for the benefit of the community. isn't that the same as the government? collecting tax dollars and chanelling it to government expenditure? in the same way, singapore pools uses a portion of its money and supports some rather meaningless events such as s-league matches, goal 2100 (or was it 2010?)

also, singapore pools advocates people to be responsible in their actions, the same way a government does. therefore, it encourages people to pay what they can pay, and thus, isnt this one of the principles propounded in adam smith's principles of taxation? equity - that taxes should be affordable to everybody, based on their ability to pay

thus, people can choose to buy $5, $10, or amounts up to an obscene $10,000. depending on the amount of disposable income you have, the MEI, which is the returns on investment, aka odds, and sometimes, in dire conditions, one might even have to consider INTEREST RATE, which is the cost of credit, for some people BORROW to bet on matches which they consider sure win, such as portugal vs greece. this is where singapore pools differ from the government in taxtion, but i shall come to this point later.

singapore pools also uses this tax dollars, collects it, and gives the payers of tax a service, jsut as the government does when it provides for its citizens' security and welfare. singapore pools gives the bettors a sense of hope. some form of dream for which they can fantasize about when they are busy slaving away at the construction yard or something. thus, this is the service which they render when they are paid the tax dollars (aka bets)

not only that, singapore pools fulfils another of adam smith's important principles of a good tax system. that of convenience. that is, the method and frequency has to be convenient to the taxpayer. now, during the euro period, who dares tell me that the frequency of paying our tax is very little?? we probably make the little trip to the friendly singpapore pools outlet, which has not only made itself easy to reach, but even extended the hours to make things convenient for us such that we can even go to the outlet at 2.30 am!!!

in addition, singapore pools also gives certainty. wow! another important principle of a gd tax system, as adam smith propounded. this is possible as people are sure what they are paying for and what they will get back in return. this is done through a simple way of adjusting odds on the four lcd screens located at any outlet. this is also done by printing the odds on one's betting slip. therefore, we are certain of how much to pay. and who dares tell me that they don't know when to pay?! with premiership saturdays and sundays, s league on thurs, fri and sat, euro everyday, and copa america everyday. you can choose everyday to pay! or only on certain days. what's more, u can even play 4d, and bet on wednesday, saturday and sunday, or buy toto, and buy on mondays and thursdays. so who's complaining?! singapore pools is the perfect tax system propounded by adam smith!! it should be called smith's pool instead!!

singapore pools also has a income redistributive effect, thus it is seen as a progressive tax. this is beacuase, at higher income levels, people tend to save more, and have a higher disposable income. thus, expounding classical theory, people's savings are translated into investments which are actually bets, and thus, rich people would bet more. thus, when these people lose, they lose big. so, this money which they lose, are sometimes won by the poor, thus redistributing income.

singapore pools is also just like a tax system in that it faces tax evaders, who try to escape from paying the legal tax. they do this by going to other means (aka bookies) to get their services. it is like a singapore citizen asking malaysia to provide the street lamps for them. that is why the government, which protects singapore pools, is really unhappy. after all, singapore pools is endorsed by the government

sometimes, we realise, that although singapore pools seems to be like a perfect tax system, it is not free from errors. when people go to them, expecting something in return, such as in sure-win matches, we are reminded that we can't be sure. just like how greece won the championship. therefore, it seems to be reneging on its promise to the people. however, we also should be reminded that any government wouldn't know the risks on its government projects and investments, just as how the circle line mrt collapsed and how when the government promises to build covered walkways for people who don't own umbrellas in certain estates, the estates still vote for the opposition anyway.

so that is the end of my short topic on taxation in singapore. a short case study in the theory of mervynism, and i hope all of you emerge enlightened from this.

today's econs s was a little boring but then again, econs is never boring. ok im quite sleepy actually. i think i want to go and bathe and sleep.
see u
take care everyone... and byebye..
still sick! oh no! i forgot to take my medicine. off to takee it now. bye

mervyn at 7/09/2004 07:31:00 AM

Thursday, July 08, 2004

i believe

hi hi bloggy. today, i shall keep it short.
because i want to play the piano.
i am disappointed with myself for my econs mcq. which i didnt study for, so i have only myself to blame.
i am happy because i can play the first 2 bars of the korean song i believe. multiply that by maybe 60 times. cos there's perhaps 120 bars. and i will play the whole song soon.
tmr is a friday. its the end of the week.
somehow or other, it doesnt seem so. cos it doesnt even seem like school has started. ok.
i said i'll keep this short.
so bye.
and yes, im still sick.

mervyn at 7/08/2004 04:43:00 PM

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

like how cool lah

hihihihi!! i finished watching the hai you ming tian show, and i just came up from opening my letterbox.. wow check it out like how cool lah i got a letter frm the airforce and the envelope wasnt like those recruitment postcard or brochures which you get lah its like a lettwer with my name printed on then i was like wad the hell... and i opened it den wow they say i am a potential candidate to be a pilot and i must go take the test.. wow like cool lor the pilot test.. hahaha then they phrase it in a way tts like so seh.. "you have been identified as a potential candidate to be a military pilot based on your medical fitness and educational standing haahahaha.. i thought the third point was kinda funny... "please bring along ..... then c. Jacket (the air con at the test centre is quite cold). hahahaha.. like so funny lah.. then in the air even colder right.. ahha those who know me will know the helicopter pilot joke hahahaha....

but damn the test is on 23/7 which is a friday. which means i MIGHT miss econs S. argh.. and i wont wanna miss econs S right. argh argh argh ok nvm. anyway the show today was quite nice yes. there's amazing race now but i don't really care. wanna go for a bath and then sleep.

ok byebye.

mervyn at 7/07/2004 03:34:00 PM

the trojan terracotta troops

hi blog. today i went home. after investiture of course. you wouldn't think i'd go home during investiture did you? well, if you did then too bad for you cos people are always thinking that i wont turn up for this and won't turn up for that and i got my fair share of "oh wow, decided to come today huh." so stupid. like duh its not my spirit floating around or something right isn't that my physical being you are talking to?

anyway investiture this year.. planned by the juniors.. paled in comparison if you really want to compare to ours lah. ours was abit more happening abit more well-rehearsed, abit more.. i don't know lah.. considering its my first time doing it and my last time doing it, i wouldnt know a tad about their preperations would i. found it pretty stupid standing there up in the steps singing all the morning songs to them crowd. they all looked like little grey figurines from where imma standing. a little like tourists looking in at the excavated qin tomb. probably served as a novelty to them. it was hell hot standing there in our blazers and stuff anyway. and not to forget the little drip behind me. drip drip drip. drip. drip drip. drip drip. drip drip drip. drip drip drip. which only served to wet my pants.

anyway investiture was a blast. an explosion. a disaster? mrs cheng's speech.. about the geese and their v formation.. was alright.. peiling's speech.. i shall not criticise.. just that... if this were a play.. litchua would definitely start asking us to memorise excerpts to highlight public persona and private persona. kenny's speech.. quite cool.. but he got many more speeches to make.. so good luck to him.. haha.. but not bad lah his opening abit powderfull lah what synnergy all the big dynamic words all he throw out lah.

but me was being mean tooday. i was the epitome of mean. rocks. ok doesnt matter anyway. probably traumatised by stupid idiot lazy pig's tag on me.

felt really tired and sleepy after taking the medicine but with all those photo-taking going on, who'd have thought of feeling tired? "36 gather in 3 seconds!!" so why did the photograph take so long man.... haha.. but then i was not the one arranging anyway. and its so hard to get 40 people to cooperate so who am i to say anything. but then again, i could probably blast every damn thing here. but let bygones be bygones and let the mosquito spray be bygon. the only 2 photos which are really nice are the ones me took with me best friend lyddie and me gd frens hilda and kath. tho there'd be so many others nice photos but me was too busy eating to actually take many photos. the food abit substadard yah. they probably got it from SUBway. ha so nonsense not funny lor. aiya the 9 o clcok show start already.

damn that made me lose my train of thought. arh anyway i've got 2 days mc so probably will just go to sch for my favourite lessons econs econs and econs lecture. and then i will go for hist 2 cos ms ng is nice teacher, and go for dio's lesson cos got private screening hahaha.. then i'll go home. to sleep. cos i need rest. lots of rest. after all this long story. i need rest. rest. and rest. IYAH

sian boh. dun want to go to school already. quit school better. go and watch tv already. bye bye. sad sad. sad. sad sad. so abby. this time ur treat. i want the nice thing at cafe cartel. okeie? thanks huh abby. actually if you treat me it will expedite the process of my death u know. cos it will make me sicker. that's wad u wan wad.. den will make u very happy right.. so ok ur treat this time. cool.

ok bye bye . take care everyone. thanks for everybody's concern about my flu so far. don't give it too much concern though. it might feel happy and want to stay for good. k bye

mervyn at 7/07/2004 01:47:00 PM

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

oh, if i'd only seen the joke's on me.

hi blog. i'm home. and about to sleep.
im sick. and i just took me medicine. tamiflu and some assorted stuff. i have flu. and i will die soon.

today was a very exciting day. i went to school, and got back me papers. i like my history essay which got 16/25. my stupid source based got 10/25 though. so irritating. ok but i'm quite satisfied with my essay though. cos at least it proves that sometimes.. hard work pays off...
and then got back my math... god knows how overjoyed i was when i saw the marks.. 40.. haha though not exactly stellar, but in my wildest dreams i had only expected like 30+ marks.. when i saw 40 i was like wth i was so happy.. rocks man... ok i'm quite an idiot actually its like 40 marks only. but nvm. 40 marks in nj is good enough for me. rocks lah.. most improved math student award got? hahaha... dun care.. but today i was sick.. so i wanted to take a cab home.. and see doctor.. and sleep.. but being nice.. i offered to share..
but that would have created the turn of fortunes for me. in such a joyous day, where i finally reap the rewards of my hard work. or not so hard work.
whilst in the cab. as it was passing by adam road. or something like that
someone told me something which pierced through my heart like a diamond studded arrow which would leave the most lasting of all impressions. it was the searing fire that accompanied the arrow which made things worse. oh for the love of me. after that, i felt so many mixed emotions i felt like a was an emotional rojak. which made things so much worse. it sucks. almost cried actually but i am a strong man and of course i wouldnt cry, especially not in public its such a dumb thing to do. but it was in the cab. so i decided to get rid of my sorrow, and drown me sorrows in the ice kacang which i had been thinking about since last night for god knows what reasons. sometimes when u get a craving, its probably a foreboding omen telling something. and this time it was this. now i know not to play jokes and talk nonsense. just liek when hilda asked me what sickness i was suffering from and stupid me said.. sometihng. and i was kinda shocked. cos it was quite fast. i was kinda horrified. i was kinda relieved. i was kinda disgusted. i was kinda trying to live in my illusion for awhile. i was kinda mad. i was kinda happy. i was kinda sad. and then i ate my ice kacang. and the poor ice melted just like the way i would melt. and i was unable to enjoy the fine ice anymore. which i loved. cos it was so finely crushed it wasnt ice slivers, it was crushed ice. and i enjoy the feeling of the crushed ice melting in my mouth. its a saintly feeling. only this time i was the one being crushed, melting away in the humid weather, whilst the skies poured out its sorrows for the mourning of my passing. it echoed relentlessly, the clouds. by the time it was all over, it felt as if the clouds had done the weeping for me. and i had no weeping to be done. but little did anybody know that what someone had told me had set them waterfalls gushing away, deep in my private oasis where noone ever goes.

nobody ever sees me like that. i should have just went home and mope. but as was said, misery loves company. and i guess the company, whilst not exactly a stellar cast. was good. as all companies are. especeially when one is feeling all down and out. and all u need is just someone to sit there so that u can talk to urself and not have anyone looking at you like you're mad. but then again, i'm not mad. i'm just a little... unwell. i sort of forgot about my fever, and true enough, it dropped to 36.1 degrees. maybe this helps. but then again i don't know.

everyone have their problems of their own, and perhaps my company was stuck in the same boat as me. i sound vaguely and strangely poetic, but it was by some accidental rig. now i'm trying to rhyme deliberately, but it sounds better done accidentally. ok let's stop it. sigh. life sucks. sat there, staring at the blank grey skies, which seemed such a far cry from them clouds of today which fluttered around in the bright blue sky, telling me that today would be such a nice day. how could this be. i was so obsessed with the brilliant view of the sky today i almost tripped and fell whilst walking cos i was looking at the sky. perhaps i should stop being obsessed with the small issues of life and all these foreboding omens, for they tell nothing of how our life should be led, they tell nothing to the consumers of what to produce, except if its a hazy day a producer would make masks and if its a rainy day a producer would raise the price of umbrellas. but consumers would be wary to such changes and bring their own umbrellas too. so that sucks.

why am i talking about all this crap. actually it was quite nice it kinda lightened me mood a little and now i regret not eating the tau huay too. damn. it was nice walking all by myself on the way to the bus stop.. i like walking. being stationary just makes one too bored and your mind wonders. where to i know none of, but i know the mind wonders far too much. and far too much is a bad place to be, especially when you're down in the dumps. i'm not exactly down in the dumps actually. i'm the self proclaimed most eligible bachelor. ha. and this self proclamation will get me nowhere. for i am nothing but a stupid idiot. someone who tried a little too much, too hard, too far. or maybe i never tried before. for i never lived. and since i never lived, i never would experience anything quite like it. now stop being a wussy mervyn and typing in circles for nobody understands that not even you. do you even understand yourself mervyn? do you? i bet you don't. for the person who truly understands himself would be in innerpeace with themselves. and how many of us have inner peacE? i daresay none. sigh. sometimes i wish i were the most intelligent person around and i'd know how to solve so many problems in the world today. but i'm not. and i shall just solve my own problems before i even learn to fix a pipe.

i'm so in love with prokofiev and his romeo and juliet suite. its so nice. can u imagine a entire ballet on it? that will be the day lah.. heard that prokofiev is coming up with his war cycle and pieces inspired by world war 2 and think its playing over at alliance francais. but ppl will probably say im a dick and nobody will go have a good listen with me so i can just buy the poor cd and listen to it on my ipod whilst lying on my pillow waiting for that rapturous moment where the angel of dreams comes and snatches my soul from my body and bring me back to where i belong, the land of dreams. but prokofiev really rocks. i like his pieces. the only thing is he's russian. sometimes i wish i could be a ballet boy and dance the male lead in stupid shows such as romeo juliet. but to do that i'd have to be gay and i'm not gay. actually i kinda like to get meself involved perhaps in some teochew opera troupe and carry on my roots. but then again i never know where to start and i probably wont be able to commit now. perhaps in the future.

ok it still sucks though when i just walk around the place and walk around the house and anywhere. those vague haunting memories, lingering like spirals from a cigarette. haunt me. they do. i think its better that i face up to it. then it will sink in and i will come to the acceptance of it. but still, it is good that i knew it. better now than never. for what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. and the strongest shall emerge from this cauldron and live to fight on. and i shall be the one.

anyway hope thanks to the ppl who were there when i was sick, thanks for the one who told me about the whole stupid issue. thanks for the ice kacang, thanks for beign there so i wont be like a mad man talking to myself, thanks to myself for wokring hard and getting an O7 in math, thanks for working hard and managing to do well in history essay, thanks to myself for making it so far. thanks to everyone who helped me along the way. that rocks. oh well, i don't know anymore. watts been happening.

cheer up.

take care y`all. sweet drms and byeb bbye. investiture's tmr. and i'm sick.
how can you mend......
a ...

mervyn at 7/06/2004 01:15:00 PM

Monday, July 05, 2004

prokofiev's war cycle.

hi blog. its 12.48 now and due to my utter messed up schedule, i am unable to sleep. but then again, i dun sleep early on mondays cos of SHI ZI LU KOU!~~!! muahahaha...

today was a bit of a non-day rather than a monday cos it sorta flashed me by in a flash. the onyl thing i remmber was talking to ppl on msn at home and tt was about it? but it was nice talking on msn to some people though. then watched the thing which we all call the idiot box. and it was quite nice especially the pck iimpersonator.

anyway was just reading hasan's blog just now and think that he is really cool lah to enjoy his council term and all his relations with people so much. a stark contrast from me who dun really hate my council term just find that its a big waste but then again ther'es not much i can do about this now except maybe do something in my life the next time i encounter such a same situation. i could get all hypercritical at this point of time and point out each and every individual error with the council but im not such a bitchh. yet. or as xiaomin, who was really nice, was talking to me just now, i should not be so mean to ppl who are nice to me.. but i never am lah but what she said is true.. about me being mean to ppl who are mean to me and as a result, like a nuclear bomb targeted at hiroshima and its shockwaves go all the way to kyoto, i will affect those who are nice to me.

anyway.. i think i did miss out on a lot though i got my precious sleep today. missed out on dear old steven's talk on how hhe really appreciates the council or stuff like that or something like that. missed out on going out with the people to some place to chill out.. missed out on the whole world or something like that. but then again, i don't exactly have good relations with any of them. out of the 40 councillors, the only people whom i like or respect as people would be binh.. xiaomin.. ronald.. chia hong.. ya tts it.. and since i'm not exactly close to any of them.. oh wells. its just me and my big attitude. yah i think i have a major attitude problem. but wad do i do about it? i sit around and do pretty much nothing, and to me, i hate myself for this kind of stupid attitude. yes, whilst i am trying me best to change my attitude, especially to the nice nice people, it is just like that that time cannot be reversed and so its like that lah..

then i read hasan's blog about the party and how fun it was to be at jp's house and all.. and then i realised perhaps i missed out on something fun.. and so many people was staying over.. which was quite coool.. but then i realised that i have other things to be happy about, such as going to the bar with my gd frens and watching soccer too and having fun... so i guess that's a fair exchange.. but it just goes to show how anti-social i am towards them councillors. what am i going to say about my reflections to my ccouncil term, i know nothing of. but well wad u hear of it its really not bad.. perhaps its just hasan.. and we all know how hasan loves these council stuff and all that.. so yah i guess.. i dunno. im talking crap and ranting here once again, which is pretty much inconsequential.

but the feeling of being fugitive sucks. it sucks to wake up and find that the first msg on ur phone is not one greeting you good evening or good morning but one that says "hey steven wong wannts to see you tmr, i don't know for what also." but i know for what. and that is my fuped attitude. well i bet he is going to penalise me for me absence from the rehearsal and there's a variety of ways in which he can do that. the first being that he will give me a long talk and scold me and stuff
the second being that he will bar me from being at the real invest because of the very fact of my absence.
the third being that he will call me parents and complain or something
the fourth being that he will blacklist me.

now, being an expert in such situations, whcih i have to deal with regularly, i know that perhaps the fourth option wouldnt' be so possible. now for the first option, i guess i will just be frank and honest with him and i guess honesty is always the best policy in such scenarios, for the second option, i will probably pre-empt his argument by saying so u r saying that just because i didnt attend the rehearsal i am not fit to step down from my councillor post, meaning yoou have never acknowledged me as a councillor before and thus as a result u are shirking from whatever that i may have done over the course of my career? and if he says thAt i was not here so i wont know what to do on the acutal day, i will ask him if he has ever seen atoms joining together, he will say no. den i say, but u teach it to hundreds of students, so how can u be sure of something which u never seen before. and den he will say he learnt it and he heard it. den i will tel him. so i can tell him tt i can go ask my frens wad hhappened too. it isnt too hard. then he might at this point of time revert to the first argument which i said he might take. ok but to me it doesnt really matter. for the third scenario, it doesnt reallly matter cos my mum doesn't care hahaaahaha...

actually why am i talking about all this crap. i said i don't care bout the council anymore. so some people will say yes it proves that i care. well ok from now on i don't anymore. bye bye

and i am not a snag. i am a fierce boy. and i will be te next hitler and exterminate all the non-pure races. which anyone who knows me will know what im talking about MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
ok bye ybey good night to all of u u rocks

mervyn at 7/05/2004 05:51:00 PM

sing me something new

hi blog. its like 8.48 am and i just came back after a dreamy night where my wildest nightmare hit me. yes. greece won. but i don't care. i have attained enlightenment and realised money is nothing. im going to give away all my assets and dress myself in robes and go be a mervynist. which i already am. any of my followers just come to my house 1 week later at 8.60 pm and we'll go on our mervyn-hood.

anyway, yes its 8.50 on a monday mornign and i'm supposed to have investiture rehearsal at 9am. IN SCHOOL! and where am i now? tapping away at a laptop.. AT HOME!! so am i going?! NO! good. and so i hereby announce that im not going for the stupid invest rehearsal, simply because. I AM SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION. yes i am! and im going to get treated by going to dreamland and visit my imaginary doctor, probably fantasize a little about my imaginary doctor's imaginary nurse and maybe the imaginary patients in the imaginary doctor's imaginary clinic's imaginary waiting room or something. but then again, screw it, im just not going. and i'm turning off my phone so that nobody wakes me up from sleep. told waihin to call my home phone if going to play soccer later. AND NONE OF THEM COUNCIL PEOPLEE HAVE MY HOME PHONE NUMBER! not that anyone who reads this place has it either. so screw all of you!! hahahahahahahaha!! the wonders of a handphone.

but then again, i wonder when i'm going to break the news to xiaomin that i was actually a rosythian. ha. ha. ha. ha. haa. so much for henry park being the best school. ha. ha. ha. ha. ha.
xiaomin. perhaps this is proof that guys tell lies?!!??!!? heheeheheheheheheheheheeheeehehhehe
damn, that's mean. but then agian, if you're not going to be mean to xiaomin, who are you going to be min to?!?!

ah ok off to bed now. just when the rest of them are having their rehearsal. hope they have a happy and smooth rehearsal. he he he he he. hope ek kiat doesnt dua me and go for the rehearsal. cos then he will pua kang tao. but he's prolly suffering from depression too. just like all of us who bet on portugal. it must be me. ok good night one and all.. CHILL OUT SIAL.. DUN WASTE TIME HA HA HA HA HA
ok that's mean. maybe i'm drunk. but then again, i didnt drink much cos i sorta finished my absolut redbull in one shot during the 80th minute when i was so frustrated with portugal and realised i had no more money for alcohol cos that's for kids. good night. or mornign. ah screw these technicalities. its 8.56 now and time to turn my phone off. HA HA HA HA HA.

mervyn at 7/05/2004 01:49:00 AM

Sunday, July 04, 2004

how can you stop / the sun from shining

haha feeling a little sian now so just did the test on abby's blog and this is the results i got

You are a WECL--Wacky Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a people's advocate. You are passionate about your causes, with a good heart and good endeavors. Your personal fire is contagious, and others wish they could be as dedicated to their beliefs as you are.

Your dedication may cause you to miss the boat on life's more slight and trivial activities. You will feel no loss when skipping some inane mixer, but it can be frustrating to others to whom such things are important. While you find it difficult to see other points of view, it may be useful to act as if you do, and play along once in a while.

In any event, you have buckets of charisma and a natural skill for making people open up. Your greatest asset is an ability to make progress while keeping the peace.

you can do the test too.. here

its rather accurate i must say... at least yours truly doesn't have a massive mean streak... unlike some people.. hint hint. which is quite obvious from my tag board.. hint hint..

so yesterday, i broke my word on not going clubbing, and became in bra's words, "hypocritical" by saying i wont go but still go in the end.. ok that's my mistake haha.. but anyway it was quite a boring party i must say.. nothing happening happening also.. except that we became mats and stole some alcohol to drink.. quite thrilling i must say.. hahaha... but the alcohol bottle was not full lah.. but nvm la good enough to get a high lah hahaha.. we play this stupid cai quan game and poor ants and yaochen had to drink every round ahhaha.. and in the end keng got drunk but poor bra was left high and dry cos he won so many rounds and didnt get to drink anything.. but nvm.. tonight i will bring 1 bottle of absolut vanilla and half a bottle of absolut vodka to chijmes so we can get high and drunk and tear down the screen if greece wins euro and cry bloody murder...then went home in a cab.. lucky got shaun + hilda to share cab or else i will die cos the midnight cabs are killers with their MIDNIGHT CHARGE... when i learn to drive.. i will speed with these MIDNIGHT KILLERS... muahahahahaa....

ok today was quite a sian day lor.. like just woke up but yea later going to watch the finals.. my bet is on portugal to win it.. cos portugal rocks man.. cos ricardo is on form.. and the greeks are tired.. cos they have never come so far.. just like a marathon runner who normally run 10km but now he runs 40km,..... he will surely get tired.. and he will nto be able to finsih the extra 2 km...

ahh thats about it for the day i guess.. anyway.. hope everyone stays happy and all... and relaxing about everything... u kno.. over the past day i have talked to many ppl who are not relaxing.. over issues ranging from betting to money to the usual... BUT ALL OF YOU SHOULD JUST CHILL MAN..... ookok thats it.. take care y`all byebye

mervyn at 7/04/2004 11:48:00 AM

Friday, July 02, 2004

the final recital

hi blog, its now 2.13 am in the early mornings of my last day of the exam, which is the fateful dio paper. now it figures that i did quite badly for donne and perhaps average, or a little worse, for whitby's paper but managed to do significantly better for hard times. now, my pass in literature depends upon this dio paper. which i hope to do rather well for who's afraid of virginia woolf, and i'm planning to do the context for the caretaker, although i did study them themes, but as one would know, lit3 paper essay questions are so so so difficult and multi-faceted it just might be a little bit crazy to actually attempt two essay questions. or perhaps i could just blame it on my personal inefficiencies and lack of knowledge and intelligence. but me, being me, am loath to accept any form of personal weakness. but i shall still admit that my lit sucks.

anyway, today was history. and i swear, this has got to be one of the most hilarious history papers of all time. i sat down, got the questions and i was like WTF this can't be true. cos the qstns were too easy. ii mean like it was LAST YEAR'S ASSIGNMENT QUESTION and its so not NJ. so i rubbed my eyes and saw that it was indeed the YEAR 2 paper. ok. then i just rubbed my hands in glee and started doing the questions. i didnt do me source based real well though, though the esssay was relatively better done. oh wells. alls wells that ends well.

anyway joelle has been getting more and more hilarious hahah very cute.. cos nowadays i go to sch late cos some of my papers are in the afternoon. so she, being the clown that she is, comes into my room in the morning before she goes to school, and come and lie on the same pillow as me and dunno start to disturb me and wake me up and do all kinds of funny nonsense to me hahahaha.. then the same happened today also since i was up all night ytd n reached home around 12 and slept at 1 til; 7, she was back from school, and then she came and lie alongside me, again, squeezing my big head off my small pillow, and started talking some nonsense or something hahahahaha so funny... it was quite funny when i show her all the anti-drug badges too but then tt idiot wouldnt stop bugging me and caused me to be unable to study for my hard times. not that any additional studying would have helped anyway.

anyways my biological clock has been officially screwed up once again, but thank god for the monday holiday and i can watch portugal win the championship. but greece is worth a bet too. u never know what these greeks dicks can do u know. like turn a silver goal into a golden goal.. that is really damn gay man.. haahaha... they should ahve a new silver goal thing like the first 10 mins u can score then after tht the remaining 5 minutes is for equalisation or something lie that.. or else its damn gay to score in the last minute of the silver goal period right? after all the celebration and all then it turns into a golden goal already what...

oh and my cursor is so irritating when i type. cos its like a touchpad and i accidentally touch it whenever i'm typing and it just moves about the screen like a little mosquito or something.. one day i will whack the screen to kill the cursor.

ok that's enough bull. its like 2.27am. will go take my quentin tarintino crazy 88 figure after the exam tmr, so excited. i can't wait! yay!!! kk gdnite one and all take care ya byebye

mervyn at 7/02/2004 07:14:00 PM