Tuesday, May 30, 2006

written in the stars

just came back from a run.
i think im addicted to runnning. if i dun run for a day, my mind will go crazy. i'll keep thinking about it and like ask myself why i didnt run and the recurring thought that i have to run just goes on and on and on and on.
i think i have a slight OCD. ohnos. perhaps it explains my easy irritatibility. and now my phone is crazy.

today i had ORD talk, so it ended really early.
i then headed down to orchard and did a little shopping.
god, everywhere in town is screaming S A L E SAL E SALE
like what the hell. there were so many nice shirts which i wished to buy!
nevermind, i will buy them next time. AND SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY PHONE! it just keeps turning on and off and on and off and on and off. what the hell. crazy phone.
just like its owner.

i think being in love is not a nice thing.
for one thing, there're the numerous heartaches to endure. the numerous sleepless nights u have to spend. the immense amount of money thhat you spend. the intense time which you have to go through.
and love is an emotion which has numerous subsets.
there's jealous, envy, lust. etc.
god, it's like the cigarette ad that shows how a single cigarette has 100000 chemicals inside.

aye. there's no point lah.
ok lah. freak. who am i to say such stuff. i'm just sore lah. hahahahahaha
okie. i .
wanna. go
out already.

mervyn at 5/30/2006 02:22:00 PM

Sunday, May 28, 2006

you're a dream

heys. sup in here.
havent updated here for quite awhile. on saturday, i became a soccer girl for a day, and played soccer with the hockey guys... quite fun, but immensely hot. i was dying from the sun. but it was really great fun.. been a long time since i had such fun playing soccer.. but it would be fun if they played better den we can score many goals.
after that, thhey squeezed 9 PEOPLE INTO MY CAR. like what the hell. i think that's seriously the record for my car la. 9 ppl inside is no joke man. whoa!! but then we headed to cine to eat lunch, and i was so hungry that i ate a footlong sub. but after that my jaws kinda hurt from all the chewing. hahaha.. imma weak.

headed home after that to sleep. and then after that went for dinner, and then i went out. went to a friend's friend's house for a hse party, which wasn't that much. and then headed over to mos. i like mos when i can get free entry. someone tell me how to be a member there!!! so anyways, we got in free and then we were off to regular business down in the ministry. and then went home and all that.

my sunday was spent sleeping alot. next sunday will also be spent sleeping alot. cos i have duty next sunday.
so sad.
went around the place to see some furniture and stuff too. some houses can really look nice given the right amount of money. or rather, given exorbitant amounts of money. i need alot. can u all start giving me your life savings?

okies. tthat's all. i wanna go watch dvd alr.
take care all my fella.s

mervyn at 5/28/2006 05:08:00 PM

Saturday, May 27, 2006

seriously, what the hell?!

mervyn at 5/27/2006 10:20:00 PM

Thursday, May 25, 2006


im home now, just completed a run.
i'm feeling extremely bored and i haven't had dinner. but there're no good dinner kakis, so i've decided to skip dinner.
dinner is an important part of my life, if only because it happens at night. and i particularly like the night.
supper is also an important part, but since we're on the topic of dinner, let's not stray.
so im waiting for my friend to reply me on tonight's plans, and den we can go for dinner!

i'm bored.
i find myself having less and less hope everyday. it seems that hope has become less of a norm, but rather a luxury. why? its impossible to have hope in the face of immense adversity!
what is so difficult abt it? doesnt seem like much anyways.

aiya so bored.
i wanna go shopping alr.

mervyn at 5/25/2006 01:05:00 PM

Monday, May 22, 2006

free but not free.

after tomorrow, i'll be free! free as a bird! no more nonsense to do! yayayayayayayaaayayyayyyy
but let's get past tomorrow first.

imma watching a love to kill dvd now. its seriously quite nice. its not a sweet show per se, but the plot is kinda rivetting, because i dun understand what the hell is going on and i wanna understand what the hell is going on. i like the fight scenes though. at times its sweet, but not all the time. its not a love story. but korean melodramas are all this way. its gonna progress to a love story at somee point or the other. i guess this series is a late bloomer.

anyways, i seriously think that there is not much point in carrying on any further, with all the odds stacked. even the computer is tellling me to just go home. i guess i should just stick to what i do best and not attempt any other things. risky ventures are best left to the experts.

sometimes i doubt the ability of some people to differentiate between love and infatuation. it is this very inability which is the danger. and for some, its their downfall.

lucify on superband just now was su-perb. their styling and various whatnot is just so perfect. totally rocks.

ah. im bored.
and there's no getting through to you.
goodnight then. if that's all i can say.

mervyn at 5/22/2006 04:29:00 PM

Sunday, May 21, 2006

a game

how do you score when the goals keep shifting?
and the rules keep changing?
and the only thing that's constant, is yourself.

mervyn at 5/21/2006 10:11:00 AM

Saturday, May 20, 2006

what do you want

its saturday night, and guess what! i'm bored at home. like what the hell such things really shouldn't be happening, BUT IT IS! amazing amazing!
and there's nothing much i can do tonight either, because there's really nothing to do.
ha. i need some professional help.

today, i slept at 5am. and woke up at 11.30am. to go to nj's funtasia. with james. but james wasnt answering his phone, and i presumed he overslept again. so i left not long after to go for my haircut.
nj's funtasia is seriously not fun at all. its quite boring. seriously, they should put the stalls at the track or something la. its like so dead when u enter the school. what kinda funtasia is this? i would put this down to bad logistical planning. or bad planning on the whole. they need a funmeister like me to go generate some festivities.

after my haircut, which turned out alright, i headed over to join some of my friends at cine for a feast! oh man and feast it was. seriously, i felt like dying after that. we ate at suki sushi, which was like a sushi buffet. and god, the food just kept coming, and coming, and coming, and coming. and by the end of it i was dying. hahaha.. life shouldn't be like that! hahahahahahahaa what nonsense.

headed home for a sleep after that. cos i was quite tired.
annd i woke up and brian came to my house i dunno for what. and he left and now i'm bored.

bored bored bored.

seriously, the speakers on my laptop don't cut it for hiphop. THERE'S NO BASS!!! i wanna go out MOS.

aiya so bored. actually i think girls are an intense contradiction within themselves. they're quite simple, but yet they're very complicated. seriously, it comes to the point that a super guy like me feels like just giving up and saying okie. but seriously, am i one to throw in the towel? certainly not!! hahahahahaa..... seriously i talk too much crap on this blog. don't even believe half of it. you'll get more crap from me in real life ahhahahahaa..

and XIAOMIN HOW THE HELL ARE YOU? I HAVENNT HEARD FROM U IN QUITE LONG ARE U ALREADY DEAD OR SOMETHING IN US HUH! at least like write me an email or something lah! i won't know if u died or maybe u're enjoying ur time in some white guy's arms. or under his covers. or something like that. actually i wont be surprised if that happened! but i'll be surprised at the guy's bad taste. ha! ok. this has only proven one thing. and that is, DISTANCE DOESN'T MATTER! I CAN STILL BE MEAN OVER A MILLION MILES HAHAHA. ok la i think next year i'll make a new yr resolution to not be mean to you! hahaha

i need to play soccer soon. need to get my skills up to the STAR level so that i can go NUS and be the soccer star! ahhaaha actually that's pretty impossible. but nvm, every great player stars off with a dream! hahaha....
but first, i need new soccer boots. seriously, i tore 2 soccer boots in 6 months. nike should start sponsoring me or something. but i don't like nike, i prefer adidas soccer boots. nike's boots are kinda plasticky. adidas is leather. which feels much softer, nicer, and more luxurious. of course, the feel on the ball is better too. though nike offers a much closer and more intimate feel, but the adidas one is plush. and i like plushness as opposed to the threadbare feeling.

ok that's all! and i miss *******************!!!
ok bye.

mervyn at 5/20/2006 03:04:00 PM

Thursday, May 18, 2006

never forever

just watched a dvd and imma going to sleep now. seriously i was quite tired in the afternoon. and i fell asleep numerous times on the drive home. seriously it's like how dangerous. i almost died. its not so much the dying but rather the cost of repairs to my car.

but seriously la like there was just so much to be done in the afternoon. when i was supposed to be relaxing. cos of my dumb boss. seriously it sucks to work under a lousy leader. leadership is damn important. if there's no captain steering the ship, the ship will just malfunction and haywire around the place. and hers is a damn lousy leadership. sucky man.

anyways i think i'm losing my focus or drive in life.
seriously, it appears to be extremely misguided. everyday i just go to work, come back and do nothing. go for a run and all these but they're all mundane. there's no fulfilment in life. there's nothing to look forward to. everything seems so meaningless. the only things that ever hold any meaning, are seriously unreachable. so what is a guy liek me to do? so much for smart ammunition. guided missiles and all. when all humankind is becoming more and more misguided.

yesterday at MOS was kinda fun.
but u know how its always the same through and through. sighs. seriously i should just stop. but i probably need some sort of impetus to stop.

i think i wanna go for a haircut. my current haircut makes me look very sleepy cos of the fringe covering my forehead. i like the sleepy look. but i think i need a restyle. something fresh in my life. oh wells, we'll see how it goes.

you know sometimes some people settle for second best. but i'm not a person who settles for second best. i'm the kind who goes for all or nothing.
i guess this time i have to settle for nothing. hahahahaa.
ok goodnight.

mervyn at 5/18/2006 04:58:00 PM

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

innocent passion

today was a long day at work. but with that over and done with, today is also a wednesday. and we know that wednedsay is a mambo night.
but with MOS's attempt to usurp the wednesday night crown from zouk, they have also started playing retro and stuff. and the best thing is that they sent me a sms saying that i will have free entry tonight! so i have decided to stay in the past, not go to PHUTURE, and go to MOS. yayness.
seriously, all my homies in da club. hahaha what the hell is so funny about that phrase huh sam huh sam huh sam huh sam.

anyways, i was damn pissed off just now driving home cos i was caught in traffic. and i was held back at work stupidly, for no reason concerning me. came back and gave me car a well-deserved proper wash, before going for a run. seriously, i need more runs. especially after my name was flashed in the conference as potential ahm runners. ha. but no problem lah, seriously, just look at the size of the muscles on my legs man hahahhaa you could just die admiring my beautifully sculpted legs. hahahaha.

anyways, as i was running just now, i saw a few jc couples. i think jc couples are the best kinda relationship around. as in, its very innocent, yet very heated. its like so whirlwind, yet it can progress further. its such a mixture of immense tension, yet from that tension comes unrestrained freedom. seriously, that's what a relationship is about. you can never put your finger on it. somehow there's some creative tension and force coming from it thhat results from the fusion of two individuals.
yet, it is not something you see in relationships at uni level or at older level. from uni onwards, relationships tend to become slightly more materialistic. you start wondering and gazing at the long term potential of the relationship. as you go older, you become more desperate and screen everyone for marriage material. when you're 40, u give up hope and just die.
hahahaha what a pessimistic view.

therefore, dear ezzah, you must seize the chance! and jaslyn too! you must maintain the chance! and every other person whom i know is happily in love. hahahahaha......
what nonsense am i talking.
aiya im going to mos.
tonight we gone get some.

mervyn at 5/17/2006 02:50:00 PM

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

we'll play a game

im writing this with quite alot of alcohol in the system. seriously, i'm not supposed to drink til tmr, but was forced to drink like 3.5 cans just now by a colonel so no choice. what the hell i'm seriously dying la,.
dun wanna drink. headed to chomp chomp after that so its alright.

today's work was such a boring day. i practically spent the whole day sitting in meetings. tell me that's not lame. i practically fell asleep in the meeting. and my fuck boss just had to say so loud why the hell am i sleeping. what a terrible boss. she's a total bitch. hope she crashes tmr and don't come to work or something. seriously, work is much better without her around. everyone's happy lah.

and today's meeting had to start at 3.30 la. like stretched til 6.15 what the hell. seriously, can start at 2 dun wan. wanna start so late.

ah i'm very tired. i wanna sleep.
its quite sad not seeing the girls team. i realised that they add abit of spice into my dull life. all their incessant gossip and bitching and all. but seriously,
girls are such a pain.

especially this one girl. she gets on my nerves far too much for my own good.
hahahahahahaha what the hell.

seriously ezzah i can understand the extent of your infatuation man.

hahahah ok i bet i'm gonna die from the above sentence.
just kill me
ok goodnight bye

mervyn at 5/16/2006 03:18:00 PM

Monday, May 15, 2006

let you go

today's a monday, accompanied with all the monday blues and all. the monday blues hit you due to a myriad of factors. the chief factor that brings about the onset of the monday blues would most likely be due to the realisation of the coming of the weekdays. i.e. end of the weekend. it forebears serious work, numerous stresses, and intense concentration and brain power needed. along with that, it signals the end of the liberty to sleep til whatever time you so wish, and also, limits the choices of attire.

for me, it never was a problem, as my weekend was also controlled by circumstances, disallowing me the liberty of sleeping in. which is one of my greatest enjoyments in life. seriously, there's nothing as good as being able to laze around in bed til 12 or 1pm. so its ok.
i spent my weekend quite fruitfully, so there's no feeling of the wasted-weekend monday blues.
but the only thing that i realised that i was immensely tired.

you know, my life is as such. the weekend offers no rest. the only rest days are monday and tuesday. and then the whole cycle resets again.
see, wednesday is mambo night, thurs is hip ho night, friday nights are friday nights, saturday is like duh. and sunday is probably an activity night.
god. i seriously need 1. a clone to live half of my life. 2. more time. 3. more rest. 4. a control-freak girlfriend to make me stay at home and not go out at all.
ok, option 4 is seriously a bad option i'll just die at home.

anwyays i'm feeling v tired and all. i need to sleep soon.

today, i felt weird driving home. it feels weird to not have soccer. feels weird to just go home like that. aiya whatever, some things in life are just this way. :(
actually nj is not bad. lifelong learning from njc hahaha... OH YAH
pity ahlam ain't here. and xiaomin also. so sad...

and what the hell are soft dinks?

its nice to keep an organiser. it helps u be organised and lets u know at a glance what's up for the week. it also brings about happiness and joy when u see an event coming up that you like. and you're counting down the days to it. happy happy happy. just like today, i cancelled away my media brief after its over, next up is inauguration, and then i'm in the home stretch and free to go!
its also nice when u see significant dates. :)
the latest happy incident to take place in my calendar is ORD talk on 30th may.
and 20th may funtasia, which should be fun.
and what else?
nothing much happy things. that's quite sad for a calendar. hahahahahaa..... whatever. i'm off to bed.

mervyn at 5/15/2006 02:24:00 PM

Sunday, May 14, 2006


heys. today was quite a good, but tiring day. i realise i need a lot more exercise in my life. blame it on my busy schedule, but i dont get enough runs. i need more runs to keep up the fitness. argh.

watched double movies today, daisy and you are my sunshine. daisy was cool. i liked it. its nice. everybody dies. i don't understand the ending though.
you are my sunshine is also cool. but the only thing was the ending wasnt sad, so i didnt like it. at times, it was a little too draggy, but its alright. as in the draggy parts only emphasise how much the guy loves her. but yah, its really quite alot of lov.e
love should always be sad. otherwise its not nice to watch. what's so happy about love anyway all you people out there. huh. its just a momentary temporary thing which evaporates faster than you ever would know. bah. love is but a passing raincloud. so, continue watching sad love stories, and believe in the premises of sad sad love stories. ha. actually, my non-existent love life is quite sad. keeping with the trend there.

anyways, seriously, i am heartened by all that i've heard so far from all u girls. ermm. we could always talk abt this some other time. but i'm really touched with the kind words and nice gestures. and coming from an un-feeling guy like me, you know its quite significant.

seriously, i'm quite an un-feeling person.
nothing much affects me. i guess i just don't give people the keys to my lock easily.
cos the lock holds something far too fragile to be exposed.

goodnight people. i'm tired and i need the res.t

mervyn at 5/14/2006 06:13:00 PM

Saturday, May 13, 2006

state of paralysis

as of 1800hrs on 120506, i've not slept til now. that makes almost 30 hours awake. i'm god. i need to sleep soon.

i feel quite sad.
for reasons of which i shall not bother to mention here.
numerous reasons in fact.
sadness is but a mere transcience.
but it lingers.
and it never goes away.
and then i realise in a moment of stark epiphany.
perhaps its because the whole thing was sad to begin with in the first place.
i feel lousy.
all i need is something simple.
something simple which is not that simple.
if only life were played in mono.
and i could hold the remote control.
perhaps then, all these might become so much better. or so i think. or hope. but at least its better than nothing.

disagree all u wish, all i'm hoping for is that something simple.


oh yah, and i'm really sorry to the soccer girls for not being there today after the match cos i really really had to rush off somewhere. i'm sorry for not being there when i'm needed. i'm sorry for everything lah.
catch me in a sad mood and this is what happens.

goodnight i'm very tired. i wanan die.

mervyn at 5/13/2006 05:27:00 PM

sleepless, thankless, skyless.

i'm sleepless tonight.
got home like at 6+. crazily long night it was man.
started off with a mahjong session, ended after 2 rounds due to another appointment somewhere else.
headed down to meet another friend, and then it was just non-stop activities til 6.
oh man, this is crazy. i also wished my life wasn't so boring last time, but this is complete beyond hardcore! i need some life counselling or something man. this is too much for a simple guy like me to take.

i realised that all my life, after jc. i've been doing thankless jobs. THANKLESS. see, as a councillor, everybody thought u were a big wayang and that u didnt do things for the school and all. ya. that's all they see. do they see the long nights, the numerous days and hours and minutes and seconds we put into it? nah. they just see the real event, condemn it, condemn you, then they go home.

after that, in army, as an officer. THANKLESS again. nobody's gonna understand what you go through, nobody's gonna thank you for speaking up for them. the only one time i really got a sincere thanks, it felt good. it felt like they knew what you were going through, they knew how much you put into making them feel better, how much you put into helping them get that extra bit. but only once. other than that, thankless job.

soccer. thankless. what can i say but thankless. seriously, for all the fine words all thhem girls tell me, i still think they think i'm kinda screwed up. which is not wrong, i am screwed up. i'm unqualified, untrained, unfriendly, un-everything. but oh wells, for the love of the game, and for the love of everything else, i'm there, most of the time. they don't see the mind-wrecking activity going through my head, the gears churning into thinking up of drills for them to improve their weak points. nononononono they're not gonna see that. they just look at . oh my god, this drill is so boring. and then they just say ah go die merv you're wasting my time. ok i may be wasting your time, but you certainly ain't wasting mine. seriously, i've seen some people improve really well, and some people just stay stagnant. why? attitude. all boils down to attitude and how seriously you take stuff. so, for those who really think you can make it on your own, go ahead. i'm not saying i can help you make it. in fact, i admit i can't do much for you. nobody can do anything for you. you do it yourself.


i like it. i feel satisfied. the intrinsic motivation within me to see positive change wills it. i like seeing people at the end of the day, having fun, enjoying something, having a change in their lives. i like that. so, i guess i'll continue to undertake THANKLESS tasks for the rest of my life. because seriously, what's thank you if not for a couple of words. what matters is the underlying feeling driving the words. to me, that's all that matters. and that's enough.

what a rant-y bitchy entry.
i wanna go wash my car.
my mind runs wild.

okie end of entry, goodbye.
don't thank me for this entry ! :)

mervyn at 5/13/2006 12:26:00 AM

Thursday, May 11, 2006

no need for paradise

today was a alright day. had the dumb officers cohesion in the pm. it sucks... have to pretend to talk cock.. and entertain other ppl blablabla. dont they know that all i want is just for ppl to leave me alone and let me do what i like?

ah. i'm so tired of all this.

ANYways, i went out. boring annd unproductive night today is.

arghh. am i even coherent.

anyways its been almost 6 months since i commissioned. and how has life been? actually, being an officer is not what they teach u in OCS. its not about being garang, its not about shouting at ur guys and instilling discipline in them and all that crap.
it's about teaching them to be better people, its about learning about them and learning from them. its about all these things which they never taught u in OCS. to lead to excel and to overcome. what's that? it could be my guiding principle, but seriously, there are so many things which people fail to do as officers.
i think i've done a pretty good job as an officer, and none of it i learnt in OCS. i think i'm quite happy that i managed to make a difference in the lives of my guys, help them lead a more productive, fruitful and happier life in army. if there's anything to be proud of, i guess this would be it.
leadership by example? not so much. its about decisions. its about how u manage crises. its about all this. what's there to lead by example when everyone has a different role to play? granted, u can lead by example by carrying urself in the best manner possible and all. but i'm but a human, and what gives me the authority to say that i'm the best example they have? whhilst i strive to be the best example and to help them be better people, there's only so much to do. at thhe end of the day, it has to be intrinsic in them. and i'm quite glad that some of them have shown positive changes. i'm happy.

why am i talking abt this now? i dunno. ha.

anyways,. i think i'm not naive. i think i'm quite street smart in fact. but why the hell am i so dumb when it comes to some stuff. oh wells, i guess everyone has an achilles heel, and i guess that my achilles heel has been discovered. though not many people know what the hell i'm talking abt, but i know i'm weak when it comes to ......

i shoudl be stronger than this.
i should be, but i know i cant.

anyways, there's just so much to say.
but i'm not in the mood to say anything. i wanna go shopping tmr. someone call me tmr man!

oh and XM, how's u doing! i'm missing life in sg without u man. its kinda boring. not that u're a really exciting person lah, but at least it adds some spice and insanity to my life. the other girls around here are just the most boring people in the world. i could just die talking to them. hahahahahahaha
ok. the whole world thinks XM is like my gf. HA but she's not!
i think if i get a gf next time she's gonna be jealous of XM but who cares hahahahaha
eh what cock am i talking
ok off to bed.

mervyn at 5/11/2006 08:54:00 PM

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

a sincere apology

oh and sam, i'm seriously v v v v v v v sorry for not putting u on the team. as in i've been regretting it since the day i announced the team, and it probably wont make any difference saying it now, but i seriously wanted to put u on the team but er.
some other dumb things cropped up.
but IM really sorry lah so can u stop blaming me for it!!!!!
and seriously i really really really admire ur determination and attitude. u've come far lah.

mervyn at 5/10/2006 04:26:00 PM

could only be one.

wassap all my party people.
how's everyone doing todaY?

today is quite an alright day for me. work in the morning was busy. kinda hectic, but its ok. i think after this busy period i'll be free-er than free willy. sigh. why the hell is NS such a bitch. ok i really shudn't complain. i'm having probably what is the most enviable job in the whole SAF already. so er yah. just be contented. but as always, the grass is always greener on the other side. just like the girl is always prettier if she's on the other side.

mmm. today's a wednesday. so what are we doing on a wednesday? decided to rest at home today. just can't take it going out practically every day and sleeping at like 2 or 3. just too tiring. :(

the girls had a soccer match against SRJC just now. seriously, they played terribly. i'm quite disappointed. or rather very disappointed. whilst i had wished they didnt' lose, i'd have to admit that with that kinda playing, i'm certainly not surprised. not the most encouraging of words i know, but i guess this is my frank opinion.

sometimes i wished that i had been just a little stricter with them, just a little more demanding. they certainly could go the distance, they had the potential, but it was my personal failing in not pushing them hard enough, not demanding their all and their best. i guess i'm just too soft. but maybe well, sometimes u just gotta be hard on ppl to get what u really want. well perhaps all i wanted was for them to enjoy themselves playing soccer.

i always tell ppl to live life with no regrets, to do things that they really believe in and want to do, but myself, i live life with numerous regrets. perhaps i just have too many options. i'm a guy with numerous options to choose from. when u close too many doors, inevitably, u'll think of what ifs and all that. and i just have too many what if's.
oh wells, sometimes its better to not have a choice when all everyone wants are choices.

sigh sigh sigh. so many things.
tmr there's the lame officer's cohesion nonsense. how irritating. ok.
its getting late. i guess i just wanna lie on my bed. and do nothing.

mervyn at 5/10/2006 04:04:00 PM

Saturday, May 06, 2006

it's like that

today was an absolutely crazy and tiring day.
argh. it was just the most exhausting day of my life. i so wished it never happened.

i had sats in the morning. and bloody hell the sats was like u have to be seated by 745 and it ends like 1315. absolutely crazy. wonder why the hell it's so long man. argh.
and because it was raining so heavily in the morning i turned on my headlights to increase my visibility to others.
and because it was raining so heavily in the morning i rushed out of my car and headed to shelter.
and because i rushed out of my car so hastily i forgot to turn off my headlights.
and because i forgot to turn off my headlights, my battery died.
well done merv.
luckily my friend came to save me.
and because my battery died i couldn't rush to my tuition assignment.
and because i couldnt rush to my tuition assignment i had to postpone it til 5.30
and because i had to postpone it til 5.30 i had to buy the stuff which i need for the STUPID GUESTBOOK earlier (we'll come to that point later on.)
and because i had to buy the stuff earlier, i couldn't attend training.
and because i couldn't attend training, i was waiting for my friend to come recharge my car.
and because i was waiting for my friend, i wasted a whole great deal of time.
and because i had sats in the morning, i slept 2 hours.
and basically that's like how the day went.
put urself in my shoes and maybe u could experience a living death. it seriously was so hectic that i forgot to take my lunch. argh.

on another point, i can't stand SAF and its dumb idiots trying to carry balls here and there. and inevitably it goes down the food chain and it comes to me. and me being me, i have to do somethig abt it. arghhhh. whattabitch. what's the point of making a nice autograph book for peopple to sign inside when they (and we) probably don't give a damn. it's just a stupid wayang thing right. so much effort just for the small satisfaction. worth it? i think not. but that's probably why they're working in the SAF anyways.

on another note, i headed home after my tuition and slept. and then i went out to liquid room. ha. today was quite bad. :(
and i have duty tmr. and its 5am now. i have to wake up at 6.45 omg! i better go sleep.
i really . really. really really hope i get some breathing time after monday. but no! the girls have a soccer tournament on wednesday! but its ok, that's fine with me. i just don't wanna have anything to do with army.
tuition is also fine. but the girl i'm teaching is kinda don't know anything at all. the guy is still alright. but who cares. its the economic benefits that matter.

its kinda funny how u can be drunk or something or just in the club with the music blasting and all u can think abt is one thing. and when u lie in bed all u can think abt is one thing. and all ur mechanisms just revolve around that one thing. ha. its quite crazy.

ah. i'm gonna lead a healthy lifestyle from now on.

ok i've probably said that a million times.

okies. i shall start now and sleep early.
and wake up early too. yeah. VERY early.

gdnite (morning)

mervyn at 5/06/2006 09:59:00 PM

Friday, May 05, 2006

if u really dun wanna dance

its been a long time since there's an update here.
anyway my past few days have been HECTIC with a Capital H.
oh mans. wednesday was kinda busy. thursday was duty. and friday, which is today, is simply crazy. omigosh i need a cloneto facilitate my multitasking.

anyways, today, i was like all over the place. i had to be like in 2 places at 1 time. simply crazy. and
it seems like everytime i have sats, my plans to be a good boy and stay home seem to crash and burn. just like today. i planned to just stay home and be a good boy and study. but no, that wouldn't materialise. i got a call at 11, and before i knew it, i was down to the ministry!
oh mans. but i had no choice cos its my good buddy's bday today.
ah my world is spinnning as i'm typign this.

okies. what else. apart from that, i had to rush home from soccer today, cos i had something else to attend to. oh. if only i had a clone to be in 2 places at once. thursday i also had to be at 2 places at once, but since i was in camp, there's no other place or thing which i can do.

and next monday is gonna be a bitch. lucky imma on duty on sunday, otherwise i'd never clear my work on monday. but then with my utmost skills, i'm probably going to like. come up with something on tuesday. or rather, i already came up with something for tuesday for my non-official half day. ah. life can be good when u want it to.
i seriously hope everything would die down after monday and i can just be a relaxed boy doing relaxed things. i'd be a happy man.

anyways, my scope as soccer coach has increased, from a simple coach, now i have to write an inspirational blog too?!!?!!?!?! all this because of the vjc coach's blog which ezzah claims to be very inspirational. seriously, i dun carE! im just an uninspired person.

oh mans i have SATs tmr and it's 4.36. after SATS i have tuition followed by soccer. and then i have to head down to bras basah to buy some stupid thing for work. after that, i've got an mj. after mj, imma heading down to liquid room. oh man. i seriously need to relook my lifestyle. nobody said it'd be that hectic man.
imma like. off to sleep nwo. or rather i'd go read something before going to sleep.
just a short update here. more to come if time permits tmr.

help help help!

mervyn at 5/05/2006 09:35:00 PM

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

ain't nothing like that.

m bored.
its a tuesday and i'm bored. i wanna go out somewhere. anywhere would be fine. just somewhere to get me away from the boring drudgery of all this. i'm looking at my SAT book and i'm so totally gonna fail my SATs this time. i opened it yesterdayy and looked at the MAth section and i knew i was dead.

anyways, its been awhile. it has, trust me. and i'm turning into a mint popper. ha i think i ate like 30 mints over a period of 2 hours at the law test the other day. absolutely insane.
on a brighter note, i saw many nice girls at the law test the other day. yummy :) exciting prospects await.
on a not that bright note, i saw many more not so nice girls at the law test the other day. i was kinda worried for the chair diagonally in front of me. the girl had layers of flab drooping over the chair. i was kinda worried the chair might break or something.
on a really gloomy note, i saw lotsa NS guys there. now that sucks. but then the point is they wont be there when i'm there cos they'll still be in army. yes yes, things are looking so bright with only 6 months of my NS liability left. make that effectively 5 months due to my clearing leave. make that 4 months after minusing all my patterns. make that 1 month cos that's when my understudy is gonna come. yayness!

on the same note, for the 2 days i was in nus, i realised that i really miss school life. i miss being able to slack at the canteen and talk cock. i miss just being an ordinary person and not an officer or anything liek that. i mean, in the canteen, if u're an officer and u just sit there, ppl will look and etc etc. but in sch, u can just sit there and be one of the rest. ok maybe not one of them plebians, but relatively still human.

i miss studying. i miss actually using my brain for something productive. on that note, i spent the whoel day playing netbig2 and i clocked like 226 rounds of netbig2b? next time i'm gonna accomplish 500 in a day. i swear! but my eyes kinda hurt from all that computer netbig action.

i also missed school for all the gossip it gives. i miss it for its hordes of pre-pubescent girls. granted, when i go to nus, it'll be post-pubescent girls but girls will be girls. bah.

actually after working with girls so much, i realise that girls exist in all forms and shapes and all different kinds. which is a horror actually. ahhh!! hahahahahaa ok.

another thing. i think its time for a new business model. the existing business model is much too stale. or rather, it doesnt generate enought positivism, diversity and vibrance. need something new. oh wells.

what the hell am i talking abt.

anyways im gonna move house soon and my room is being turned inside out and upside down. and inevitably, there'll be lotsa remnants of stuff from the past. and i see all those letters and its kinda cool. ha. what a blast froom the past. crazy times. :D
that's all for now.
i think i'll go mug SATS

mervyn at 5/02/2006 02:20:00 PM