Thursday, March 29, 2007

what happens when you lose control of the matrix?

its been long since i updated here.
so now im finally back home in singapore, where there's abundant sunshine. where there's home.
pity home got a little smaller.

you know sometimes when you have a bad dream and you know its a dream and you just force urself to wake up and heave an enormous sigh of relief that its all but a dream?
what happens when that situation translate to reality, and no matter how many times you force yourself it just doesn't change the situation and you won't wake up from it? it's not possible to just pop out of reality into the program and say "dude, what was that all about?" it's just not possible.
that's life for you. unexpectedly destined.

it's crazy, it is. when everything you do just drains you out so badly that you just want to throw in the towel and say hey, stop screwing about. it drains you. it really does. what's this about? it's just so. unbelievable. did the programmers make a mistake here?
or is this just another of those wicked experiments designed to understand the human psyche? sociology for all it's worth. all these higher ups messing about with the system. tweaking it just for pleasure and leisure.
what's this all supposed to mean?
will some destitute programmer please enlighten me? teach me to tweak this bloody wicked matrix.

i need to sleep.

mervyn at 3/29/2007 08:53:00 PM

Thursday, March 22, 2007

faces that launched a thousand ships

hi all,
i'm back from my hedonistic escapades in the hellenic nation of greece. overall, it was an excellent trip i should say.
great company and great country. so, that's all that's needed.

the flight there takes like 4 hours and we got there by easyjet. i think easyjet's pretty alright for short-haul flights. especially when they put their flight timings at such weird hours and people are so tired that they just sleep on board.

right. on to greece.
athens is a really charming little city that manages to maintain a great deal of character and flavour in its streets and people. when you first arrive, it hits you like a shot of warm air that this city looks like some asian countries like malaysia, thailand, indonesia, etc. but it's in europe.
but the special thing about it is that greece has some sort of inexplicable charm to it that lets it stand out.
maybe it's the way in which the cars move on the street. maybe its the way the people walk about, i don't know for sure really, but it sure is beautiful.
and the greek people are really affable and friendly too. on our first day, we had quite a tough time looking for the hostel that we're supposed to stay in, so we spent like close to 2 hours looking for the stupid road. and we asked for lots of directions along the way. but all the people we asked were really helpful and there was even this old man who totally went out of the way to guide us to our location. really helpful.
and they were generally very very forthcoming and helpful with directions. there was this once we were just walking down the street looking at the map and this greek guy in his mid 20s just came up to us and asked if we needed help. nice, moral people. little wonder that the greek civilisation was such a prosperous civilisation with such a long history.

and the sights.
the sights were really grand. i mean, i've seen buildings that i thought were grand, like st pauls cathedral and all those funny buildings that appear in england. but the acropolis is another matter altogether. it is GRAND. it is not only grand, but it strikes such an imposing figure on the skyline, and up close, you could get transported back to ancient greece through the mere sight of it. it's really really really beautiful. pictures do it no justice.

greece is also a country with no skyscrapers, so the view from higher grounds is really nice, and u could see miles and miles away. the first night, we climbed up the acropolis and watched the city transit into night as the sun set. it was a classically surreal, murakami-esque moment. if i could choose a moment in time to freeze forever in, i guess that would be it.
and there's the olympic stadium, and the zappio, and so many other sights that it has to offer.

the food was really good too.
not exactly cheap, but value for money and utmostly satisfying.
it has alot of meat and stuff, rather turkish in a way, with the kebabs and all those things, but i guess there's abit of mediterranean influence too. but anyways i like the food i had in greek and whilst i'm not exactly good with words, especially when the savoury temptations reduce me to a spluttering blob, i must say that greek food is excellent. and i absolutely adore the greek yogurt with honey.

and now it's late and i should be off to bed.
but to be continued.
and photos in future.

mervyn at 3/22/2007 02:28:00 AM

Friday, March 16, 2007

can't deny this

so today was the final performance of the anthropology series of SPL.
i must say that tonight's performance was really quite good, and it ended on a high note, so it was quite good.
it's been a long journey, though it doesn't seem that long since i first joined SPL after feeling that perhaps i should be doing something a little more useful with my meaningless existence here in london.
but then again, one must understand that i spend an insane amount of time with SPL. out of 7 days in a week, i spend like 4 days at SPL, so i do spend quite alot of time at SPL.
i think it's been really fun working with SPL, and if i wanna try to act smart, i would say that it was SPLendid, but then that is just so utterly corny. well, but the truth is that i really enjoyed my time in SPL, cos some of the scripts were really good and funny, and the people in there are funny and nice to work with. it's a very relaxed and chill environment though sometimes v does get a little naggy but then again, it's all part of the deal right.
but it's been really nice and it seems that time has passsed so fast and all those late nights in school, and the afternoons and the many numerous rehearsals have all come to an end.
but it was a nice experience, so, live for the moment.
hopefully there will be something nice like that next year too.

well, today i was emo-ing the whole day and feeling quite irritatable generally, so people who irritated me were not spared from the overflow of my irritation.

apart from that, it was a hectic day and im feeling tired.
tomorrow's the last day of school.
i not only feel delighted,
i feel overjoyed.

sunday, i head to greece.
next friday, i head back home to singapore.

but tomorrow, i have a spanish exam.
let's deal with that first before bringing out the festivities.

there's supposed to be some jap party going on now, but somehow, i don't feel all that interested.

i much prefer staying in my room, lying on my bed, as i fall through the depths of my induced slumber.

i prefer the old blogger.
this new one is too google.
i don't like blogger to look like google.


mervyn at 3/16/2007 02:35:00 AM

Sunday, March 11, 2007

barrier to understanding

what's up around here?
it's a nice and lovely, lonely saturday night today. i spent all night in, trying to do my math assignment, and tidying up the mess that is my table. i am slowly but surely clearing up the mess in my room. soon, it will be nice and neat again.
so the past week, i have been relaxing about because there was no SPL, and i was just mucking about the place.
actually i wasn't mucking about the place. even though i was relaxing about, i still felt tired as i was still doing alot of things.
like poker on monday, wednesday, and friday.
and stuffs like that that keeps me up til the wee hours of the morning.

on wednesday, i went to kiasu for dinner. wow wow wow it was quite nice having singapore food again. i had an extremely oily mee siam, and shared a or luak and otah. but the otah was like the thai fish cake so it wasnt too good. but the prices were totally crazy. a small plate of or luak was like 5.50 pds, which is like 16.50 sgd. u could put the best oysters in there and get 10X the serving in singapore for that price!
my mee siam was 7quid, which is ok, if you consider hotel prices in singapore. but then again, i only paid 5 cos there was a free voucher. oh. and i shared an ice kacang. the ice kacang was really damn good. heavenlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
my stomach was quite happy for days after that.

i've been playing lotsa poker recently, and i must say that i am improving quite well at it to turn up quite a healthy profit. which is a good thing i guess.

but i'm gonna fold soon.

mm i've also been spending quite abit of time in the gym, and its all going well.

i guess that's all for now.


mervyn at 3/11/2007 01:07:00 AM

Monday, March 05, 2007

because i never told you

how's everyone doing?
it's a fine and sunny day today but it's night now.

i felt too tired to get my body out of bed for econs lecture today so i got an extra hour of sleep from that.

saturday, i went to participate in london games. however, this time, i chose to play floorball. it wasn't exactly very fun though i should say, because i played for a grand total of less than 12 minutes. this time, just like london games, i was pissed again during the games.
it seems like all these stupid games piss me off so much i think i shouldn't take part in them in future to save myself the agony.
u know in team games, team dynamics is really important. it only takes one cock in the team to screw up the entire game for the team.
i think people who seldom play team games understand this fact. they don't understand the multi-faceted nature of team games or that it requires a bit of time before a team is able to work successfully together.
but then again, maybe it could just be me.
yeah, i would figure that its just me being much too anal lah.

and on sunday,
after all that incredible exertion, i spent the day lazing around and sleeping. which i like.

it's week 9 now and it's only 2 more weeks til i get myself back to singapore. but what's there in singapore?
there's good food, a comfortable bed, a car, family, home, and stuff.
but then.
something seems to be lacking right.
not that it can be found in london.
maybe i'm asking for too much. but then again.

its nearing the end of the term, and my engine is dying down again.
oh wells.
we'll see what happens.
u rarely know, do you.

mervyn at 3/05/2007 08:18:00 PM

Friday, March 02, 2007

don't deny determinism

how's things going?
it's a friday morning 1.44am and i just finished my shower.
i got back from a merdeka night at 10pm.

overall, i'd say merdeka wasn't that bad, just that it wasn't a ROCK musical per se, but rather it was a musical with a few songs with guitar riffs in it.
i'd say that plot development wise, it was rather good, though it was lacking in certain plot details, but then again, it's a musical.
production of the play was absolutely fantastic i must say, sets and props wise, it was very very well done. outstandingly good i should say. the lightings and stage direction was also rather well done.
one part which i found the musical lacking in was the score, as there were rather few songs and the music wasn't exactly fantastic or awe-inspiring.
but the lead was good though. acted and sang very well.
but sound was quite bad, and there were moments in which there was an imbalance in the levels of the music and the singing, and some of the mikes were so lousy you couldn't hear a thing.
overall though, i'd say it's worth 5 quid lah.

u know,
alot of problems arise from understanding.
it seems that the more educated we are, the less we understand.
i don't understand you, you don't understand me, we don't understand each other, nobody understands anything.
so what if you know all your incredulous formulaes.
you don't understand a single thing.
and that, exactly, is the problem in society these days.
and that, is the problem with you.
and me.

apart from that,
i've got the SPL performance tomorrow, and i should get some rest for it.
so i guess i should go to bed like now perhaps?

mervyn at 3/02/2007 01:46:00 AM

Thursday, March 01, 2007

my world crumbles like a chocolate chip cookie when you bite into it

i should be going to bed soon so i guess i'll make this a short one.
haven't written here for days.
not that i write anywhere else, but its just that i've been so caught up with other things.
like poker. poker. poker. SPL.
ok, i did my philosophy essay yesterday but that's pretty much it.
oh my oh my something has gotta save me from this immense spiral.

so recently my life has been alright. socially, it isn't too bad. but social life always has an inverse effect with financial life. and financially, i'm treading in deep waters. some budget control must be in place soon before i end up scraping the bottom of the pot.

as always, my love life remains zero.
i can totally explain why it is zero, but then again, maybe not.
maybe all along all i ever wanted was a pipe dream, which should always remain a pipe dream. the moment you get too close to the dream, you want to distance yourself from it, for you want it to remain a dream.
maybe this, maybe that.
i don't know, but what about you?

i guess i should be going to bed now, instead of making all this incessant remarks.
perhaps next time then.

mervyn at 3/01/2007 03:46:00 AM